by Dee Walker
â€œYouâ€™re going to get pregnant by the first drop of sperm that touches youâ€. These are the words that came out of my friend Ericaâ€™s mouth as we laughed on the phone talking about my sexual relationship status of beingâ€¦CELIBATE. Erica and I have these conversations all the time about a very conscious decision I decided to make over two years ago. Yes a single, 27 year old women DOES NOT have sex and no desire for it(right now). In fact, Iâ€™ve had quite a few encounters with people my age (men and women) who have made the same choice I made to be celibate. As Erica and I laughed about it, I really sat and re-evaluated why I made the decision to become celibate.
Iâ€™ve never really been a sexually active person to begin with. However, I became sexually active at a young age, not truly understanding what a toll sex takes on you when you are not mentally prepared for it and the emotional stress it entails. Iâ€™ve had six month to a year â€œdroughtsâ€, but this has by far been my longest period of time abstaining from sex. In the spring of 200, I was involved with someone I thought was truly â€œdifferent & â€œspecialâ€. Anthony, (not his real name) put a smile on my face every day. I wasnâ€™t in love with himâ€¦but I was definitely smitten. He was very intelligent, charismatic (I thought), had a sense of humor and provided me with intriguing conversations. I saw potential in him and possibly a serious relationship with him. He knew I wasnâ€™t sexually active and wasnâ€™t pressuring me initially, but in the end things changed. I usually wait a long (like six months) time to engage with someone physically, but I truly felt â€œAntonyâ€ was different and gave in after a couple of weeks (as I bow my head in shame, lol). Needless to say things changed between us and we ended things in a not so great way, although eventually we developed an ok relationship. I honestly feel like part of the reason things didnâ€™t work out was because of how quickly we had sex. Around this time I was also trying to rededicate myself to church and living right. Iâ€™m not the most religious person in the world but being a Christian and living right I know sex is wrong before marriage. Sex was intended for marriage, and the more I thought about it, whenever I had sex, and felt emotionally connected with someone that I really didnâ€™t even care aboutâ€¦that always came to mind!
With that all being said in May of 2009 I decided celibacy was the key for me. Not only do I have to worry about my emotional feelings of sex, I donâ€™t have to worry about stdâ€™s and an unwanted pregnancy (because I DO NOT want kids anytime soon!lol). With my faith growing and learning more everyday I plan to wait until I am married before I have sex again. I want something to enjoy and experience with my future husband. I know Ericaâ€™s words will have even more meaning to them once Iâ€™m married!!
Do YOU Think It’s Hard To Be Celibate or Abstinent In Life After 25?
What Are Some Of The Biggest Obstacles?