by Alexa Antol
Have you ever had the most amazing first few dates with a man, only to end up noticing that he vanished into thin air?
If so, it probably left you wondering, “What did I do wrong? Is it about him– or is it about me?”
After some soul-searching, you probably came to terms about yourself– knowing that you really are a good person, with some amazing qualities.
But the mystery of the disappearing man just doesn’t add up, does it? Don’t beat yourself down.
The cause of a man running for the hills might be something as small as revealing too much emotion. If you want to get a better sense of how men think and react to women’s behavior, here’s a basic list of mistakes women make to scare men off faster than saying, “will you marry me?”
If you haven’t heard yet, the biggest turn-on for men is a confident (not overconfident, though) woman.
So think about it: the opposite of confident is insecure or needy, and displaying those characteristics is a surefire way of making a negative impression on a man.
Have you ever had any of the following insecure thoughts while with a man?
– Does he think I’m attractive?
– Does he think she is more beautiful than me?
– Does he like the way I look in this outfit?
These kinds of questions signal an insecure woman and men can easily sense this type. Once a man catches wind of her need to be constantly validated, he will pull away in fear of having to reassure a woman.
He has better things to do with his time than motivate a woman with low self-esteem. Besides, if a woman questions her own qualities about how attractive she is, then it might transfer onto a man to wonder himself: “maybe she isn’t so great after all?”
Another way to make a man freak out and pull a vanishing act is to become really needy around him. Balance is very important in life and it applies to neediness as well.
Itâ€™s important to note that men definitely have to feel that they are needed; otherwise, they will go where they feel they are!!! So, make sure you show the man you need him, but donâ€™t act too needy.
By being too needy I don’t mean asking for handouts. Having too many expectations or being too clingy early in a relationship will repel most suitors.
Expecting a man to call or text you frequently or contacting a man too often before or after going on a date will be counterproductive.
A woman who is constantly dwelling on a man she is seeing seems rather desperate, and will come off as needing more attention from a man than what he is ready or able to give her.
Men like to pursue women, and when they date you, they like positive feedback about their courting skills. When a woman gives off a vibe that it isn’t enough, he will feel defeated and uninterested in pursuing a woman that can’t be satisfied.
Makes complete sense now, doesn’t it?
Lastly, if you don’t want to scare off a man you’re interested in, keep your emotions under control! This does not mean repressing or hiding emotions, but it means expressing them in a healthy constructive way.
One quality men just can’t deal with, especially when it’s in the dating stage is a woman whose emotions spill out randomly and she has difficulty dealing with situations.
Have you ever broken down and cried in front of a man you were dating? How well did he handle it? How about if you got angry and started yelling like a crazy woman around him? I can assure you that it is definitely not sexy in his eyes.
More than likely, a guy will become Missing in Action (MIA) if a woman can’t keep her emotions at bay. The opposite of that would be a confident, self-secure woman who can be laid back and easy-going. And save the tears for heart to heart talks when it is appropriate.
I recognize that itâ€™s not always easy to do, but if you keep reminding yourself of these three key points: be confident, secure, and express your emotions in a healthy way when dating, you will be surprised at how positively men will respond to you.
When your life is in harmony and you can fight the urge to be insecure, too needy or unhealthily emotional, men will be drawn to you like moths to the light.
Beware the mistakes women make when dating, and remember to show the beautiful qualities that you have, instead.
Author Bio: Alexa Antol is a relationship expert and the creator and owner of Secure Your Soulmate (www.secureyoursoulmate.com). Secure Your Soulmate offers dating advice, tips and techniques to women about various relationship topics such as how to meet, attract, and keep the right man. She has written several articles and newsletters related to health, women issues, and relationships.