Breakin’ up is hard to do… We’ve all heard it before. But when a breakup becomes a reality, it’s easy to find yourself overwhelmed, depressed, or just plain angry. With emotions raging out of control, it only makes sense that you may act slightly out of character.
So how do you keep it together in the midst of a painful split? Well, as another old saying goes, “time heals all wounds.” And until enough time has passed to help you keep your sanity, check out these helpful tips of what NOT to do when handling a breakup. Trust us, you’ll be thanking yourself later…
- -Don’t keep calling. Maybe you still have something that you need to get off your chest. Or maybe you want to – gulp! – beg your ex to come back to you. All you need to remember is to think before you dial – especially if you’ve been drinking. Calling over and over again will do nothing more than turn off your ex and possibly get you a restraining order. Take a breath and call a friend first.
- -Don’t drown your sorrows. Having a night out with good friends and some drinks is a great way to get your mind off things, but don’t make it night after night after night. You do need a few sober nights alone to think, process, and clear your head.
- -Don’t rebound date. You’ll know when you’re ready to get back in the game. And it probably won’t be the night after you’ve been dumped by your ex, and you meet a cute guy at the bar. Once again, look before you leap, or you’ll probably be kicking yourself in the morning…
- -Don’t give yourself a total makeover. It’s always tempting to try to gain some control over a major life change by reinventing yourself. But before you chop off your hair or pierce some unmentionable part of your body, take some time to heal emotionally. Then reassess changing your look.
- -Don’t blab on and on about your ex. Enough said. You’ll drive even your closest, most understanding friend crazy if you do.
- -Don’t do drive-bys. This is just as bad as calling your ex nonstop (even if you’re calling from a blocked number). If you think you can be discrete and drive by their house incognito, think again. You’re likely to get recognized, and your cover will be blown. There’s truly nothing more embarrassing than that.
- -Don’t lean too much on one person. If you’re turning to your best friend, mom, or sister with every complaint, gripe, or sad thought that crosses your mind, you’re likely to wear out your welcome – fast. Spread out your time amongst a group of friends to get the unconditional emotional support you need.
- -Don’t overextend yourself. Even though you may need to distract yourself from the reality of a painful breakup, don’t make the mistake of diving into your work or social life to numb the pain. As hard as it is, you need some downtime to process and move on.
- -Don’t fight dirty. As much fun as it may be to post on Facebook that your ex has a venereal disease, try to rise above it. You’ll only make yourself look desperate and nasty if you resort to mudslinging in public.
- -Don’t try to stay friends. This is the biggest breakup no-no of all time. You may be able to fool yourself into thinking that you’re mature enough to remain friends with your ex, but come on. Don’t you have enough friends? Give yourself time to separate and heal emotionally before you even think about getting chummy with someone who broke your heart.
Bethany Ramos is a full-time freelance writer that co-owns her own e-commerce website, The Coffee Bump. The Coffee Bump specializes in a wide variety of Bunn coffee machines and assorted coffee and espresso products.