As diametrically opposed to women as anything could be, boys reach their sexual peak at 19, while men achieve peak proficiency at 50. In between, they grow up and learn how to enjoy their masculinity. If a man makes it to 50, he has endured of life’s ups and downs and is prepared for the best, most vital and meaningful time of his life. A 50-year-old man wants in bed exactly what he wants in life—much passion and even more satisfaction.
Men’s Mid-Life Transitions
In the early ‘90s, Yale psychologist Daniel Levinson demystified the processes by which big boys evolve into full-fledged men. He especially explained the strange stage commonly known as “midlife crisis,” but he declined to use the word “crisis,” substituting the more diplomatic term “transition.” In Seasons of a Man’s Life, Levinson wrote, ”In the Mid-Life Transition, a man reviews his life and considers how to give it greater meaning. Knowing that his own death is not far off, he is eager to affirm life for himself and for the generations to come.”
With luck, most men survive their midlife crises–those dangerous, self-destructive second puberties that attack them the minute they turn 37. The average off-the-rack midlife crisis stretches across six years, then, midway through their 40s, when men get over their infatuations with exotic sports cars, addictions to reckless and risky behavior, and dalliances with younger women, they cross the first threshold of real adulthood. They mature enough to pull on the big-boy pants without feeling pretentious and silly. In the aftermath of their midlife madness, men enter their difficult but rewarding developmental stage devoted to consolidating the benefits of their early adulthood. Between 43 and 50, men’s and women’s developmental curves finally intersect and coincide. In fact, most men prove that they actually were worth the wait.
50 is ever-so-fine!
Men do not change at 50; they just get more proficient at being men. Men get better at providing for and protecting life–their basic but by no means easy masculine tasks. At 50, men do not all of a sudden abandon their combative, bestial, binary ways and evolve into sophisticated creatures as complicated, delicate, and responsive as women. They do, however, temper and alloy their testosterone-fueled aggression with decent doses of sensitivity and empathy. Most 50-something men actually master the idea that full-fledged, unmistakable, and irresistible masculinity requires them always to remain strong enough to be gentle.
5 Fundamentals of 50
When a man hits 50, sex becomes far less hydraulic and far more harmonic. Nature has adjusted his endocrine equilibrium, pumping more estrogen into his system, throttling back on testosterone. Because he has gained control of his parts and functions, a man at 50 becomes a far more considerate lover than he was, even at his best, at 30 or 40. 50-something men need, want and wish for:
1. Passion and perspiration Sex doesn’t seem so desperate anymore; in fact, sex actually is fun. Who knew? Men can sustain long enough actually to satisfy women’s desires, making the experience both sweatier and a lot more passionate. 50-something men even discover that sex involves more emotions than relief and sleepiness; they discover joy, empathy, admiration, and affection.
2. Slow but steady crescendo to the climax 50-something men discover the narrative element in sex. They understand the importance of foreplay, the drama built into growing intensity and excitement, and the volcanic wonderfulness of a genuinely satisfying climax and denouement.
3. Communion 50-something men discover the sex’s symbolic function, and they learn how lovemaking can serve as the currency of deep and abiding love. Wise women learn to do their eye makeup with exquisite care because their men actually have learned to gaze into their lovers’ eyes as they luxuriate in their bodies.
4. AffirmationOf course, men’s fundamental needs never change: men still wish and work for affirmation of their value, strength, and competence. Mature women have grown to understand this; praise and gratitude just come naturally.
5. A promise that the best is yet to come 50+ men have made peace with their vulnerability and mortality, but that reconciliation does not translate to readiness for cardigans and rocking chairs. Because they have discovered their lives’ purposes and meanings, and because sex adds vitality and value to their lives, 50-something men crave reassurance that these dazzling epiphanies are not ephemeral as Fourth of July fireworks. 50-something men crave assurance that each passionate act of love serves as prelude to the next one which holds the promise of something even bigger and better.
British Poet Laureate William Wordsworth wrote, “Though nothing can bring back the hour/Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;/We will grieve not, rather find/ Strength in what remains behind.” Men over the age of 50 get it, and they manifest their magnificent masculine strength in their patient, passionate lovemaking.
Guest post written by Santos Russell, on behalf of Viamedic website, a site that offers prescription medications to seniors.