People sometimes come to the realization that their marriage simply is not working. No matter how hard they try, the unresolved, ongoing disagreements produce negative feelings, constant bickering and endless fighting. This tends to drive a wedge between people that eventually ends up in their marriage being dissolved in one fashion or another. If a divorce is inevitable, then the best thing two people can do is to try to end their marriage with grace. Here are four tips that will help a couple to part on a positive note.
The Entitlement Problem
Instead of working out a simple amicable plan of parting ways, often one or both parties involved in a divorce will begin to feel entitled to money, the cars, the house, and other possessions. Many times, this feeling of entitlement turns into vengeful greed. Especially if a person feels like the other spouse wronged them, the entitlement is spiced with spite. Unfortunately, this type of behavior only provokes a more difficult and drawn out divorce than necessary. The secret in this situation is to realize that the entitlement problem is actually preventing the divorce from concluding in a graceful manner. Relenting from feelings of entitlement will help to move things along for everyone involved. It will also help to create far less stress and anger.
Have a Meaningful Talk with Your Attorney
When it comes to dialing down the drama in a potentially messy divorce, your attorney can be a force for improved communication. By letting your attorney know that you want things to be as pleasant as possible, this helps them to know what kind of mood you want to set when communicating with the other spouse and their attorney. Having an attorney that understands and respects what you are going through will help to make this possible.
Avoid Making the Kids the Central Issue
A lot of couples on the verge of divorce will immediately take to fighting over the kids. This display of emotion and anger is never healthy for the kids. It also tends to exacerbate tempers to an unhealthy point as well, when custody issues become a central theme in a divorce. It is generally best if two people sit down and decide calmly what should happen with the kids when the kids are not around. If your soon-to-be-former partner won’t stop with the threats, you may want to consult an attorney from Valerie M. Little Law Corp or a firm in your specific locale.
Try Out of Court Mediation
Just because two people are getting a divorce, this does not mean they have to drag each other through court and make a huge public production of the issue. Settling a divorce through an out of court mediation process is often far less messy and involves way less drama for both parties involved. In addition, out of court mediation will often be less costly.
Although going through a divorce is never pleasant, it is possible for two people to work things out in a graceful manner if they truly want to. Being realistic and willing to get through the process with as little hassle as possible is a noble goal that will ultimately benefit both parties. Two people may not be able to reconcile their differences, but this does not mean they must make a divorce worse by acting childish towards one another either.