The five love languages is a personality test designed by counselor and therapist Gary Chapman. In his book by the same title, people can find out what their love language is. Your love language allows your partner to gain a better understanding for what type of love makes the biggest impression on you. Understanding your own love language and that of your partner can help you build a solid relationship.
What the Five Love Languages Are
The five love languages identified by Chapman include words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch. Most people strongly identify with one or two of these categories. Utilizing love languages as a relationship tool only works if both you and your partner take the quiz and share your results with each other.
Using Your Partner’s Love Language
A love language is a way to relate to your partner. If yours is quality time but your partners is receiving gifts, it might seem like these do not mesh. However, you can be creative and make your love languages work. You could give your partner a gift that allows quality time, such as a couple’s massage or tickets to an event that you would both like. Your partner gets the enjoyment of opening the gift and you get to share the quality time together.
Revamping Your Style
Learning about the love languages also helps you recognize what is not important to your partner. If your partner is not big on acts of service, then keep in mind that washing her car or ironing his shirts won’t say “I love you” loud and clear like it would for you if you happen to be acts of service. Not that actions of kindness aren’t appreciated, but you can focus your efforts on what does make your partner feel loved. This can give you the energy and enthusiasm that you need for a solid relationship.
Part of being in a relationship is getting to know one another. Surprise your partner with a quick shoulder rub. Even physical touch isn’t your style, your partner will recognize that and appreciate your willingness to meet his or her needs. Knowing that your partner cares helps build strong bonds.
It can be a daunting task understanding the needs of those you love most in your life. However, you don’t necessarily need a relationship counselor or an applied behavior analysis certification in order to successfully recognize the signs and behaviors your partner is exhibiting. If your partner’s love language is different from yours, you might need to go outside of your comfort zone. Your efforts will be well rewarded and are certain to be recognized by an appreciative partner.