After divorce, it can take some time to return to the dating game and it may be years before you’re prepared to remarry. Once the time comes for a remarriage after divorce, many people are hesitant to take that step due to concerns with repeating the past. Worrying about how the new marriage will affect family, especially children, can also cause hesitation. A remarriage after a divorce is a time for happiness and the whole affair can go smoothly with minimal drama if you take a few simple steps to prevent hurt feelings.
When Children are Involved
If you have children from your previous marriage, it’s essential to try to help them come to terms with your new relationship. Even adult children may struggle with seeing a parent marrying someone else. If possible, let them get to know your future spouse well and build a relationship before announcing any marriage intentions. Once the decision to remarry is made, make sure your children are the first to know so they don’t have to hear it from someone else. Answer any questions they have as truthfully as possible and let them know your expectations of how the new family dynamic will work.
Dealing with Negativity
Friends or family may express concern about your remarriage and this should be dealt with as soon as possible. Often times this concern is genuine, however you may have toxic people in your life who just don’t like seeing someone else find happiness. If they’re truly concerned, have a long talk with them about your new relationship and how happy you are to have found your future spouse. If you find negativity coming from those who are simply jealous, try to avoid interaction as much as you can and whatever you do, don’t engage them in an argument. You do not have to explain yourself or your decisions to them.
How to Deal with Your Ex
If you have no relationship with your ex, and there were no children from the relationship, there is really no reason to share with them your upcoming marriage. Mutual friends and acquaintances will likely share the information for you. If you still have a decent relationship with your ex, be sure to let them know you remarriage so as to avoid any awkwardness.
Talk Through Everything with You Soon to Be Spouse
As someone who’s been through a divorce, you likely know what you want in a spouse. Be sure you sit down to talk through any concerns you may have before the big day. Finances and future children, if that’s a possibility, are two of the most important things to discuss.
There are supposed to be rules about a second wedding. Etiquette tells you what to wear, how big your event should be and other ridiculous notions. It’s your day, so do what you want within your budget. You have the right to celebrate your special event even if it isn’t a first wedding.
Once You’re Married Again
If you’ve been divorced for a few years, it may feel a bit odd to be married again after living a more independent lifestyle. Take the time to enjoy the new life with your new spouse. Find some hobbies or interests you can share and focus on the future. Don’t let past mistakes make you feel insecure about your new marriage.
Remarriage after divorce can be a wonderful way to find happiness and fulfillment again. Before going through with the marriage, be sure to have a frank discussion with your children at an age appropriate level about what they can expect. Deal with any negativity in a positive way and never feel the need to explain yourself if you don’t want to. Lastly, if you still speak with your ex, let them know about the upcoming nuptials to remain cordial and maintain the friendly relationship you have.
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