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Healthy Relationships: How to Know What Real Love Looks Like
If someone walked up to you and asked you to define true love, would you be able to provide an easy answer? Can real love be explained, defined or categorized? Poets have tried, and so have psychologists. The truth about true love may not be what you think it is. Here are a few clever clues that can let you know whether what you’re feeling is real love or not.
Real love comes with no expectations
When two people are truly and deeply in love, they accept one another, faults and all. No truly loving partner expects their mate to change or demands that they do so. Real love comes without conditions and expectations that can strain a loving relationship.
You Tango explains that once a person can accept that their mate may not remember to do or be able to do everything they want them to do, love may deepen. Appreciate each other for the good traits and let the little stuff go.
Love listens and hears
When two people are infatuated, they tend to hang onto each other’s every word. Not always are they hearing what’s being said, however. True love enables listening to the other person without planning the next witty thing to say. Eye contact during conversation is a bonding thing, too.
True lovers are interested in what the other person thinks, believes and feels. Although they may not always be in agreement, people who are really in love give their partner the benefit of the doubt and always listen with open ears and a willing heart.
Love is monogamous, honest and unselfish
Most in-love couples find it easy to remain monogamous, saving their physical affection for their beloved. Emotional intimacy is sacred between two partners, as well.
Love accepts mistakes and doesn’t keep track of infractions, real or perceived. The ability to forgive our own errors as well as those of our mate bodes well for deep and abiding love. If you’ve been a jerk, own it and apologize. Someone who truly loves is not afraid to call their mate out when they’re behaving idiotically, too.
If deal-breakers are delineated at the beginning of a relationship, both parties should honor those boundaries. If, for instance, the deal is to stop flirting with others online, and one partner consistently break the rule, it could be time to contact the DivorceGuru.
Infatuation is fun, but not the same thing as real love
Infatuation, like lust, is a physical reaction to the physical appearance of another, says eHarmony. As a rule, infatuation is about immediate gratification and doesn’t tend to last very long.
Infatuation is one of the most intense human emotions there is. It happens early –sometimes right away. Infatuation sees the world through rose-colored glasses and although it feels nice, it’s not exactly true and real love.
Real love doesn’t “just happen.” In order to find a true love, first be all you can be on your own. Two whole people have a better chance of finding real love than persons who want love simply to alleviate boredom or improve their social status.
Joe Simmons has had his fair share of disasters when it comes to relationships, realizing over the years that these women were simply not right for him. As soon as he met his wife-to-be he could tell that this was different and she was the one for him! He writes about love and relationships, hoping his past mistakes will help others avoid, or get out of, a doomed relationship.
