It’s a Jungle Out There: How to Play by the Rules of the Modern Dating Game

Since the dawn of mankind, men and women have been chasing each other.  However, customs and norms change through the ages.  Modern dating, with its texts, tweets, likes, and swipes, deserves its own analysis and understanding.  You may accept that it’s a jungle out there, but like eras of the past, there are rules.  Here’s how to play the modern dating game.

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It’s Okay to Pay

The modern woman is liberated and seeks the same opportunities as men.  Women are in the military, mixed martial arts rings, and at the head of business conference tables.  Therefore, a few demure sentiments are now dated.  For one, it’s okay to ask a guy out on a date.  If he seems interested and available, there’s no reason to wait for him to make a move.  Secondly, the lady can pay for her half or the entirety of the date.  Expecting the guy to pay or being shy about having money of your own is a thing of the past.

Make Quick Decisions

The dating world moves as fast as the Internet age.  Make quick decisions.  You have a lot of options, and you don’t have to settle for a guy you have mediocre feelings for.  If you’re not feeling it within the first 20 minutes, listen to your intuition and put a fork in it.  It’s likely that it’s not the first time he’s experienced such swift decision making.

Maintain Integrity

In the modern age of quick meetings and multiple options, it’s easy to lose one’s integrity.  We all want to be liked, but we shouldn’t compromise our sense of ethics to be accepted.  Sure, some modern dating sites have reputations to be ‘hookup’ sites, where guys and gals can find a sex buddy.  That doesn’t mean any of your suitors should host such expectations, make you feel pressured, or think that you owe them something for simply meeting.

Follow Up

Some want to be chased and others like to chase.  Traditionally, the guy is the one to follow up after getting a girl’s number or to ask for a second date.  However, you don’t need to be traditional.  If you like him, it’s okay to send him a text or give him a phone call the next day.  Some guys play it cool, waiting two, three, four days or beyond to follow up, but waiting too long could create missed opportunity for either party.  Be yourself; it’s okay if that means sending a text the next day.  A New Mode mentions the value of remaining mysterious, yet you can still contact him and not ‘show all your cards.’

Talking Saves Time

We all know a number of ways to contact another, but when it comes to dating, consider what method is the best at the time.  Is it easy to get to know a person via  Tinder messages and texts?  Probably not.  If you want to expedite the process of getting to know a person and going on a date, it’s best to pick up the phone, dial, and talk to them.  Talking is especially suggested if you’re overly sarcastic or tend to take others literally.  It’s easier for intent to get lost when you don’t know each other.

Trust Your Friends

Most men and women feel comfortable about introducing the person they’re dating to friends.  Trust your friends in questioning or reinforcing your intuition.  Those who are abusive or repeatedly find themselves in tumultuous relations usually isolate their mates from friends and family.  It’s a good sign if he wants to meet your friends.  It’s even better if your friends give him the thumbs up.

Befriend Them

It’s natural to be curious about a potential love interest.  It’s okay to ‘befriend’ them on Facebook.  That way, you can catch a better glimpse of him.  However, don’t go digging too deep, especially if you have a tendency to get jealous or make wrong assumptions.  A person’s past should not have too much influence on whether you like them now and in the future.

Be Forthright

You may be in the immediate market for a boyfriend or maybe you want to take things slow and see several men as friends.  Regardless of what you want, be sure to let him know of your intentions.  If you’re dating other people, let him know.  If you are bothered that he is seeing other people, be honest.  Don’t expect the other person to ‘change’ for you, but the honesty will save you from future headaches.

Jude Connolly has been single for 8 years and recently re-entered the world of dating – Boy did she get a shock on how it all works now! Learning quickly with the help of her friends and teenage daughter, Jude is sharing her tips with others who are ready to date again but may be too afraid.