The worst feeling in the world is loneliness. Humans are not designed to be alone; we are designed to be loved and love each other. So, when we find ourselves in a position of neglect, we retreat into our shells. Our self-esteem is bruised. Our confidence is shattered. We question every single thing, every conversation, every look, until we learn that standing up and brushing ourselves down is the only way to move forward and regain our strength. Whether we are left behind by family or friends is irrelevant: the feeling of abandonment is still the same.
The same feeling is try of our relationships, too. It’s always tempting to text your ex boyfriend back after a particularly nasty split. It’s always tempting to call up and jump into bed just one last time, for the sake of company. The thing is, you have to ask yourself what you want from life and being abandoned by someone you thought loved you can give you the perfect chance to question it all. Feeling vulnerable, for some people, is not an option. The strength that we like to project in our lives is a mask for a lot of insecurities and low confidence. However, the phrase ‘fake it until you make it’ has never been more important than right this moment.
Going through a breakup is difficult, especially after a significant length of time together. You get familiar with a certain routine, a certain pattern. When that pattern is broken, you feel grief. Your body responds to a break-up in the same way it responds to a death and goes through the same cycle of grieving, from anger to acceptance. It can be tempting to go back to an ex, we’ve all done it at some point in our lives. Before you go back to someone who once left you, you have to weigh up the options of how you will feel doing so and whether you can work on the issues that took you apart in the first place. If you can, then more power to you – working on something that was broken can often be rewarding and make you feel so good about yourself.
If you choose not to go back to an ex, then your whole aim now is to look forward to the future and work on recovering your heart. You need to be able to get back onto your feet and fall in love with yourself again, which takes a lot of time and effort for most people. Self-love and care is a slow process and building your love back up is going to be hard. However, the more effort you put into yourself, the more you can feel confident to reach out for the things you want rather than settling for things that once made you unhappy. The only thing you really need to remember is that you have got this, and you can do it. Self-belief is vital, and you need a good support system to get you through the bad days. You’ve got this, though, we know it!