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When Is It Really The Right Time To Get Married?
Do you ever feel like your relationship should be heading somewhere with a lot more commitment? You’re not alone. Many people in our generation still feel the attraction of marriage. It can help your relationship to evolve into a more comfortable and secure state. And there is still something very romantic about those wedding vows too! It might seem old fashioned to some, and an institution to avoid at all costs to others. But if you think your relationship could be coming to this point, then how do you know if now really is the right time get married?
Time Served?
You might think that marriage should be proposed after the relationship has endured a particular amount of time. The trouble with this approach is that we’re all different. We all change at different rates of time. And we all reach that all-important readiness at different times too. There is no hard and fast rule, but a committed relationship will need to change and evolve over time. Nothing stays the same forever.
Are you walking toward a marriage or away from it?
Hints It Might Be What Your Partner Wants Too
Let’s face it – if marriage, kids, mortgages, and growing old together have never been discussed, then chances are you’re not right for each other in that way. Marriage needs to be a goal for both of you. Of course, there are plenty of successful long-term relationships complete with kids, pets and a mortgage that never included that legal piece of paperwork. It’s worth questioning why you want to go down that route yourself before you consider whether your partner might want to as well.
Truths And Openness
There is a difference between telling the truth and being openly honest. If you ever feel like your partner is keeping something from you then you might be questioning whether you are right together for the long term. We all have secrets. Most of these are past indiscretions that are just better left unsaid. Marriages don’t require those personal issues to be raised or discussed. But if they directly affected you, you might want to know.
Of course, sometimes we just fret about the security of a relationship. While marriage might not stop indiscretions, it should make you both think twice about your behavior around others. If you are determined to put your suspicions to bed once and for all, then you might want to hire a private investigator. Cheating partners investigations will give you the answers you want, but then you need to live with them too.
Is your love exclusive?
Perhaps one of the most important parts of any marriage is the willingness to answer questions honestly. A relationship that lasts well into your senior years will mean that both of you will have to put your insecurities aside. This includes physical insecurities. When illnesses happen, it’s not pretty! Are you ready to share yourself with that level of openness with anyone?
For Better And Worse
If you’re not already living together full time, then you need to consider the reality of that situation. Sharing a bed with a snorer is never fun. And there will be countless times when you’re not at your best physically either. Are you ready to wake up to the same person every day, no matter how much your bodies and appearances change over the years? No two people will ever see eye-to-eye on every matter. What will you do if you can’t agree on something that really matters to you? Do you even know how your partner reacts to such an impasse?
Friends
Many marriages evolve from passion and intimacy in the beginning to something much deeper as the years go by. Many married couples say their spouse is their best friend. They are their confidant and their strength. Often the physical side of the relationship becomes much less important. Instead, the lifelong companion they have in each other is the focus of their partnership. If you’re not best friends with the person you’re thinking of marrying, then you might want to wait awhile for that side of your relationship to evolve.
More than intimacy.
Arguments
Every couple argues. After all, you’ll both change, and the relationship will evolve. But if every row and spat resulted in a breakup, your marriage won’t last for long. Instead, you might both return to your respective corners to calm down for a while. Then, you’ll realise that winning an argument with your partner really isn’t what it’s all about. Now you’re seeing their point of view, understanding where they’re coming from, and helping them feel like a part of the solution.
The Real You
Are you really you when you’re around your partner? Pretending to be a better version of yourself when you’re around them is fine for a few dates. It’s pretty unlikely you’ll be able to keep that up for long enough to last a marriage though. It’s worth considering if your partner is comfortable enough in their own skin to be themselves around you. Neither of you should feel it is necessary to put on a facade to impress the other. You should both be enough just as you are.
The Better You
Of course, your partner should make you feel like you’re a better person when you’re with them. They should help you aspire to new and greater things. Your relationship should help you to feel more confident and better supported than ever before to chase after your own dreams. Equally, your partner should feel relaxed enough and confident enough to pursue their own interests wholeheartedly. Own interests, friends, and hobbies are important, even when you’re married. You should both feel stronger and safer with each other than without.
Stuck In A Rut
It’s true that things can get a little dull and boring. And you can get that feeling that the relationship has become stagnant. That doesn’t mean it’s over. It just means you’ve been riding along instead of steering a course. Even marriages need regular maintenance and an injection of fun from time to time. Are you ready to say “I do” yet?
