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What Would You Do If Your Partner Was Having Sex with Someone Else?

Although you’ve been suspecting something isn’t quite right in your relationship, it can still sting when your partner confesses that they have been having sex with someone else. However, you wouldn’t believe the number of people around the world who aren’t in the least uncomfortable with the idea!

Before getting into what you would do, let’s look at what a recent survey showed when over 1,000 people were asked what they thought of their partner having sex with someone else. After seeing some of these surprising figures, perhaps it’s time to be real about what you, personally, would feel like doing.

What Would You Do If Your Partner Was Having Sex with Someone Else?

Results Tallied from a OnePulse Online Survey

The survey mentioned above was conducted online by OnePulse which has an app where you can ask and answer questions on literally anything and everything. They, then, tallied British respondents and the statistics are nowhere near what many would have believed. While it is conceivable that we are living in a different kind of world than that of our parents and grandparents, the surprising number of people in a relationship who would have no problem with their partner having sex outside the relationship are staggering.

Sadly – What Wasn’t Addressed

Before looking at some of those statistics, a few words need to be said about what wasn’t addressed in this survey. Whether or not you are okay with your partner having sex outside your relationship, there should always be a concern that they will carry home some form of sexually transmitted disease. Nowhere on the list of questions was this asked that can be found immediately, and so it leaves you to wonder if we are living in a society that truly believes in safe sex?

A word of advice is needed here. Even if you are supportive of your significant other having sex outside your relationship, it is always important to be aware of the STDs he or she could bring home to you. You can find free STD testing near you to be on the safe side. You may be okay with sharing your partner, but it’s not okay to share sexually transmitted diseases. Some are deadly, as we all know.

Some Oddly Unexpected Responses

Now then, on to what OnePulse found in this survey. Of those who responded in the UK, 90% feel that sex is still somewhat important in their relationship. However, only 23% feel it is very important while 36% responded with “very important.”

The survey also found that:

  • Not surprisingly, sex is more important to males
  • Overall, women place less importance on sex
  • Almost 1/5 of those who responded would let their partner have sex with someone else
  • Once married, infidelity is not as great an issue as before marriage

So, there is no surprise there that men find sex more important in a relationship than women do. This has long been the butt of many jokes and we all know about those surging male hormones. However, what may be a bit surprising is that the survey found that men actually place less importance on sex as they grow older. This does a lot to debunk the middle age life crisis felt to be responsible for all those men seeking younger bedmates. Could it be something else breaking up the relationship? That, however, is another question for another survey!

What Would You Do If Your Partner Suggested You Try Sex with Someone Else?

The results here are both expected but, yet, unexpected. If their partner suggested sex with someone else, the not-so-surprising result is that 32% of men would probably go for the idea while only 14% of women would entertain the notion. Again, is the male sex drive stronger or are men less concerned with fidelity? Perhaps another survey is needed here, too!

On the other hand, only 30% of married people would dissolve their marriage if they found their partner had cheated on them, even if forewarned with the above question. On the flip side, those who were in relationships but not legally married would be more likely to break up. That figure rose to 42%. So, does this mean that married people are more secure or perhaps no longer have that sex drive they once had? That wasn’t asked in the survey.

Is Society Changing or Are We Just More Open than Ever Before?

This leads you to wonder if society is really undergoing such extreme changes in sexual behavior or if we are just more open than ever before. There is no way of going back in a time capsule to see how our parents or grandparents would have responded once upon a time, but chances are that the numbers really wouldn’t be all that different.

Consider the fact that there were babies born out of wedlock since time immemorial and that Roe vs. Wade in the 60s resulted from unwanted pregnancies. Without debating abortion, which isn’t at issue here, the point is well made. People have always had sexual relationships outside of marriage and infidelity has always been an issue.

In the 17th Century, the upper echelon seemed to always expect a man to wander and the woman to be compliant in the home. Much of the suffragist movement was based on the fact that women and children were considered possessions while men were free and the rulers of the roost. So then, are our morals really any more decadent now than they were in previous generations or are we just freer to talk about such things as sex and relationships?

What Are Your Thoughts?

At this point, you should probably be asking yourself what you would do if your partner suddenly confessed to sex outside your relationship or suggested that you both entertain the notion. How would you respond? Would your answer be based on insecurity within the relationship, impropriety or simply a nonchalant approach where you could care less?

With the overwhelming number of people who appear to be okay with the idea of sex outside a relationship, this is something you might want to give some serious thought to. What would you do?

About the Author
Da Vinci, Editor in Chief of Your Life After 25, has carved out her own position as a “Realistic Optimist,” and modern day Renaissance woman. Your Life After 25 is the women's magazine for all women, but we put a spin on things and also make sure to embrace life for ladies over 25. Whether you're 25, 30, 35, 40, 50 or older we have something for you! Your Life After 25 "Believe It Or Not, It Does Go On"
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