There’s nothing worse than someone telling you to move on from a relationship breakdown. It may well be good advice, but it doesn’t mean that you want people telling you that when you’re in the throes of crying into your pillow and binge-eating chocolate. Here’s some sage advice for you though: divorce isn’t the end of the world.
There is not one person on the planet who goes into a marriage believing anything other than miracles and happy endings. No one imagines that they will ever have to go and see a divorce attorney to end a part of their life. No one imagines that they will have to move out of the family home and live elsewhere and start again from the very bottom. The thing is, none of that has to be a bad thing. Divorce isn’t something to be ashamed of, either. If a marriage isn’t working, you are under no obligation to force it to work just because you once signed a marriage certificate in a church. Getting your groove back has to be your focus, because you’re still a person. You may have been defined by your marriage before, but that definition doesn’t hold any weight anymore. So, how can you go about getting that groove back and emerging from the weight of sadness a beautiful butterfly?
- Be present. It is high time that you sat down somewhere peaceful and let go of all that mental clutter that is making your day worse. In the present, there is nothing but you and the way that you want to be; give yourself the ultimate gift and remind yourself that you have hopes and dreams – you, not you and him. Just you.
- Be real. Accept the reasons that your marriage broke down. Accept the reasons you tried to fight, and it didn’t work. Accept the end of the relationship and look ahead to the new reality. The faster you accept it, the faster you can work to heal your heart.
- Be over it. Okay, you won’t get over an entire marriage any time soon, but you can be thankful for the experience that you just had and work out how to implement what you’ve learned to future situations.
- Be clear. It’s time to think about what you want as a single person. Take relationships out of your equation and look at the dreams that you had for yourself before you were married. It’s time to anchor yourself and get down to the basics of what makes you tick. It’s time to love yourself and move forward.
- Be open. Your family and friends will want to rally and support you. You need to let them. The world is a big place and it’s your oyster; how you choose to crack it now is up to you.
You are not defined by your relationship to another person. It’s time to define yourself by who you want to be, not who you’re with. Get that groove back, girl. We’re all rooting for you!