You meet your soulmate, you travel the world, you buy your house, you have kids, you go on vacation, and you settle into your lives ready to stick together until the day you die, preferably lying beside one another in bed and holding hands.
That is the fairytale that many people imagine when growing up and meeting that person that gives them butterflies. But life doesn’t always work out like that and unfortunate as it may be, something a marriage just doesn’t work out. The media fills our heads with the image of messy divorces, but it does not need to be that way.
THINK OF OTHERS
When the marriage seems to be on its last legs, it can be all too easy to get wrapped up in your own head. While you will need time to sit and consider your options, you need to think about other people too.
This can include friends, relatives, pets and, most importantly children. If your children are older, moved out, and have their own families, things will typically go a lot smoother. However, for younger children, a divorce can cause major problems with their wellbeing. Seeing their parents scratch and claw and argue can have disastrous effects on their self-esteem, and so considering their needs and not using them as pawns for your benefit is definitely something to consider.
If you or your partner are looking for a divorce, then you will not want to do it alone. As much as you promise one another that you will be civil and do whatever each other pleases, divorces can get messy.
Because of this, it is smart to seek out help with ending a marriage. Having a professional mediator between you and your spouse will help ease the tension associated with such a dramatic change in your life. While things may hurt during, they will only look to get the best compromise for the both of you. Hopefully, this is the start of your relationship healing.
WHAT IS BROKEN
What is broken cannot always be fixed, but sometimes it can. Healing following a divorce or breakup can take a lot of time and going at a pace that suits you is the best way to get better. But just because things look bleak now does not mean they always will.
While some people may never need to see each other again, others will. It will be hard, even uncomfortable at first to see one another outside of a lawyer’s office. However, making an effort to remain civil and act like an adult will be essential to fixing any cracks in your relationship. It is unlikely you will get back together, but being able to coexist in the same space is a consolation that you can happily seize.
Divorces can be hard on all members of the family, and it can be all too easy to resort to petty measures to get what you want. However, hate only breeds hate. Make an effort to remain civil, be the better person, and work on yourself during such trying times and you will both have the chance to move on with your lives, and discover the happiness you crave.