We all know that breaking up is hard to do, getting a divorce is even harder. In many ways, planning out your impending divorce can be more difficult and time-consuming than choreographing the most elaborate wedding. Not to mention that when all is said and done, you may very well find yourself emotionally unstable.
You should in no way feel alone in feeling this. Deciding not to be with a person you had previously vowed to love, honor, and obey until death is tough to do. Love is a funny thing in that we are not able to merely shut those feelings off like a light switch. Just because we are no longer with the person we were married to does not mean our feelings for them automatically become null-and-void.
This is why it is so important to remind ourselves during a divorce that we are entirely capable of being happy all on our own. Being happy by yourself and loving yourself is the key to a healthy bounce back after a divorce.
Don’t Fear the Sadness
Divorce is almost like experiencing a death in many ways. Coming to terms with the dissolution of your marriage deserves a respectable amount of time to grieve for it. It is necessary that you understand that no one is expecting you to jump back up without so much as a flinch once your divorce is settled. Time heals all, but you must also allow yourself some time to reflect on the past relationship.
Call Your Best Friend
Hanging out with friends is a great way to get your mind off whatever is troubling you. Plan a girl’s night or a guy’s only fishing trip. Friends will help as much as they can to heal even a tiny amount of your emotional wounds.
Get A New Hobby
Focusing your attention on trying something new will gently steer your mind in a much less toxic direction. Getting out of the house and taking a beginner’s art class or going to yoga twice a week is a great way to direct your focus on more positive vibes. The most important part of trying something new is leaving your house to socializing with the outside world. Only you can prevent yourself from being alone.
Get Out of Town
After a divorce, it can be tough for a person to go back to the house they lived in with their ex, or sleep in the same bed that they shared for years. Consider taking a vacation to clear your head and recenter yourself. It doesn’t have to be a week-long event. There are plenty of places around the world you can take a vacation to. Whether it’s taking a tour of Greece and its ancient temples or renting a beach villa in Cape Town, the opportunity to experience the world as a newly single person can be a huge step in improving your outlook of life. The simple act of getting out of your usual bubble can do wonders for your peace of mind.
You shouldn’t look at this little vacay as running away from your problems. That’s not what this is intended to be. Spending some time away from home will simply give you the opportunity to recharge and reassess your life in a neutral space.
Focus on You
We tend to mold into some strange form of Siamese twins when paired off in relationships. Opinions change and compromises are made. Even while in a relationship or marriage, we should try to keep a distinct sense of self about us.
Unfortunately, this is not always the case, which can leave a person feeling utterly lost after a divorce. It is highly recommended that you try to find yourself again by doing things that you used to enjoy before you were married.
Remember that you are on a journey within your own life. Not every day is guaranteed to be filled with happiness. In fact, not every day is guaranteed at all. Which is why it is so important to live your life the way you want to.
If you are knee deep in the thick of your divorce at this very moment, know that it will get better. You are not alone, and you do have the power to move forward. Yes, it will take time. Do not expect to wake up tomorrow and be completely over your ex. That kind of thinking is just not realistic. However, you do have the power to wake up tomorrow and get out of the house, try something new like joining a gym. These may all seem like small, insignificant steps, but once taken they can gradually grow into the foundation of your new life post-divorce.