While ‘dies’ is definitely not the best word to use here, it’s true that passion wanes in a long-term marriage. It’s not because there is something wrong with you or your relationship. This happens to everyone, say professionals from the American Psychological Association. Many psychologists study exactly why this happens, and the reasons are many (Psychology Today). The important thing is that you can reignite that passion and keep it burning. For that you’ll need to make a few changes and use some ‘props’ to remind you of how it all began.
Top 3 Tips and Tricks to Help Reignite Passion and Love in a Long-Term Marriage
Spice up your sex life
A huge multidisciplinary study from Chapman University concluded that couples that manage to keep sexual passion alive for years in a marriage have an active and diverse sex life. The four elements that play a major part in providing satisfaction for both partners and thus keeping the relationship strong are:
- Expression of love
- Setting the mood
- Diversity (trying new techniques and acting out fantasies)
No one factor is more important than the other, so be sure you pay attention to all four. Most importantly, you need to talk with your partner and actually discuss your desires.
Recreate your most romantic experiences
A bit of nostalgia can do you good. Remembering how your relationship started is sure to awaken that deep passionate love you’ve felt for each other all those years ago.
You can do this in many ways. The easiest one is to recreate your first or most memorable date. However, this might not be possible as the place where it all started may no longer exist.
Another great option is to refresh your memories of the most special events. The wedding day definitely comes to mind as it’s the start of your marriage. It will be great to find your old photos and arrange them into a beautiful wedding album. It will make a great gift and will take a place of pride on your shelf. Looking through those precious images together will bring back the memories of that special day. Most importantly, you will remember the overwhelming feeling that consumed you then.
Learn to discuss your relationship right
Talking is key to keeping any relationship healthy, happy, and strong. But it’s essential to talk about it the right way. Unfortunately, it’s often hard to reignite passion and love in a long-term marriage because the partners grow bitter and sad. Therefore, when they get to discussing their relationship, the talk mostly consists of accusations and negativity.
What you need instead is to focus on the positive. Don’t talk about what you don’t want or resent, instead speak of what you want to get from this relationship. When both of you have spoken, negotiate how to achieve those things. That’s when the time to discuss the things that need to be excluded comes.
This might not sound very romantic, but a long-term marriage is a relationship of deep love, not fleeting romance. When you’ve lived with your partner for years, you understand that compromises and even sacrifices are necessary to some extent. Bringing them to the open and making sure that both of you are satisfied with the situation is what living together ‘happily ever after’ is about.
True love never dies, but it does get rusty with age. Caring for it every day and reminding your partner how much you treasure them is the secret of a happy marriage.