While relationships can feel wonderful to build and while love might flow free from time to time, there is likely going to be a time where you will fall out of love with someone, or vice versa. It’s always best for a toxic relationship to end rather than for it to continue over a long time, because this kind of difficulty can sometimes last indefinitely if both parties refuse to mature or let go.
You might not be able to save the relationship, but there’s a chance you can keep your dignity. The relationship might be relatively new, it might signify the end of a friendship as well, or perhaps it’s a long-term or even married couple that could be ending things. However, like anything in life, you can choose your attitude regarding how you approach things, and if you can choose, you can choose for the better. This final point is worth repeating, because often your self-belief might be shaken during these times, and so acting in a manner that you respect can help you objectively redeem yourself in your eyes, even if the opposing party refuses to do so.
We hope our advice can help you during this trying time:
Do Not Badmouth Them
When you’re annoyed, it is extremely easy to badmouth everything causing you irritation. This is because you will likely be working through things in your mind, and justifying your action. The kicker is that it’s likely not the other person only at fault, but you as well. Perhaps you caught the person cheating, and that caused you to react very aggressively. While your injury is the greatest, you might have handled it better.
This kind of personal understanding is the basis of anger and can often contribute to the badmouthing of others. This can be a slippery slope. Not only can it prevent your friends from wanting to be around you, but it might also set a bad example, or harm your defense if you want to take the high road. This is especially concerning if you’re a family, because even when working with an excellent divorce attorney, your children do not need to see this kind of attack on one of their parents. Do not badmouth. It leads to nothing good. You can say the words, just don’t subject others to them. Better yet, write them down. It will help you process your anger more healthily.
One of the most toxic norms of a relationship is the on-again, off-again ideal. Deep down you both might still like each other. But it might be that the problems are too great to overcome, and you know this. The worst thing you can do is complain, and then forgive them. This opens the door to abuse, and for the other party to know they can get away with bad treatment. You might also be getting the same message. This can be a downward spiral.
Be consistent. If you have made the decision to leave, make the effort to leave, even if the other tries to employ showmanship to get you back. For example, if abuse has occured and they try to make an effort to get you back, who’s to say they will change? Sometimes it’s best to eject yourself from a situation. It is only when you encounter some distance that you might see just how unhealthy something was in the first place.
Be consistent. It could help you more than you know.
Going through this process alone will always be much harder than going through it with others to help you. Does this mean you need to stay at your friend’s place for weeks eating ice-cream and moaning? Not at all. Taking a pro-active approach to better yourself and your life can help you gain some structure during this time, especially if you need to untangle yourself from them in more ways than just the emotional.
But a little social support goes a long way. Visit your family. Meet with your friends. Be positive, and try to get involved in your local area, such as starting a new hobby. Perhaps head on vacation with a friend. Get back to the activities you liked and may have sacrificed for the relationship. A little social support and care can help you see life without that person. After all, there are 7.5 billion people in the world. You’re going to find at least a few who are worth it.
With this advice, we hope you’re better able to keep your dignity during this trying period.