Don’t let us burst your wedding bubble.
If you are getting married soon, it might be the right thing for you to do. Even if you met your partner last Sunday, got engaged on the Monday, and arranged your wedding for a week on Tuesday, if you are both madly and deeply in love with each other, then don’t let us stop you.
However, many people do rush into marriage, often for the wrong reasons. It’s called the ‘Run-to-the-Altar’ syndrome; getting married before they are ready for that lifelong commitment. This is obviously problematic because a marriage built on shaky foundations is rarely going to last. While the best divorce attorneys will ensure a future separation goes smoothly, there are still the emotional and financial costs of a divorce to consider. In short then, if you’re planning on getting married soon, you really do need to make sure you are ready.
So, without wanting to put a dampener on your wedding plans, consider the common signs that are attributed to those people who do rush into marriage.
#1: You have desire to fulfil your childhood dreams
We are talking about ladies in particular here, as many little girls dream of the day they will finally get married. With fantasies of a fairytale wedding, probably with rainbows, unicorns, and guests throwing gold-embossed glitter, they long for the day when it’s their turn to live out their dreams. If this is you, and excited thoughts of a wonderful wedding day far exceed your thoughts of the person you are going to marry, then you have to stop and think. Your wedding is only one day of your life; your marriage, on the other hand, is for a lifetime. Are you ready, or are you still caught up in your childhood dreams? While we wouldn’t want to stop you having your fairytale wedding, it is better to go through the day with the man of your dreams as well, and not start a marriage that could later be the subject of your worst nightmares.
#2: You haven’t talked about the big things
Now, you might be in love with the person you intend to marry, but have you raised those discussion topics that should take place before you put the ring on each other’s finger? As you can see in our linked article, these include conversations about children, money, and personal beliefs. You don’t have to be on the same page about the little things – it doesn’t matter if you’re a vegetarian and your partner is a voracious meat eater – but with those bigger topics, your marriage might run into trouble if you don’t have those honest conversations at an early stage. Sit down and talk with your partner before your wedding day to make sure you are both on the same page about those things that are important to you. You might both be able to make compromises in some areas, but it’s better to find out whether this is possible sooner rather than later.
#3: You don’t want to be left on the shelf
Are your friends comfortably married and with families of their own now? Have you been dating for a long time without much success? If so, then you might be tempted to rush into marriage to have a slice of the pie that your friends are eating and to finally get out of the dating game. This is perfectly acceptable if you love the person you intend to marry, but if he’s merely a pawn in your attempt to climb off the singles shelf and into married life, then he might not be right for you. So, ask yourself, is the person you intend to marry your first choice? Or are you settling for second best because you don’t think you will find somebody better? For your sake, and for the sake of your intended, make sure you’re getting married for the right reasons. While we appreciate the dating game is tough, and we know that it can be painful seeing the lives of your friends move on, you might want to stay single for a little while longer until you do meet the right person for you. You might only meet them after you have gotten married otherwise, and this might cause you to regret your decision to marry.
Here’s the thing. If you are planning on getting married, then we really do hope it’s right for you. We hope you have a fabulous wedding and that your life is as blissful as can be. But it’s still worth taking a step back if you have noticed any of the signs we have suggested in this article. We want you to be happy, but that might not be the case if it’s not quite time to get married just yet. Think then, and make sure you’re doing the right thing before you put on the ring!