The end of a relationship can often feel like a bereavement. Although it isn’t a death, it does represent the death of a future that you envisaged with someone. Happy memories may have been tainted and you may feel hurt or damaged. But there are ways to get through these difficult feelings, and you will absolutely feel okay again one day. Here are some tips…
First of all, make sure that you protect yourself. Hire a great divorce attorney to guide you through the legal process so that you can protect your assets. It can be human nature to try to keep everything possible, but you need to remember that fairness is key and you need to do what is right for your ex as well as for you. This is especially true if there are children in the picture. You may want sole custody – the idea of not spending every day with your kids can be incredibly painful if you aren’t used to it. But the truth is that your children will only be really happy and well adjusted after a divorce if they maintain good relationships with both their parents. So bite your tongue about your ex and make sure that your kids can see them as often as possible.
Talk To A Counsellor
When you’re going through a huge life change, it’s important to make sure that you can process your feelings effectively. A great way to do this is by going to therapy. You may think that talking to your friends has the same effect but that isn’t quite true – you want to make sure that you maintain your relationships with them, and it may be hard on all of you if your divorce is the main subject. They are obviously also not trained in being able to offer you coping mechanisms and a new perspective the way that a therapist could.
Find Time For Yourself
Finding out who you are as a person alone instead of half a couple is one of the most challenging things about a split, so it’s important that you take some time for yourself to find out. Join a book club, start exercising – there are ways that you can explore what you want to do and to take healthy, productive time for yourself so you can process your thoughts.
Think About Your Future
Finally, one of the hardest things about a split is the fact that the future you once envisioned for yourself no longer exists. That perfect family living together isn’t on the cards any more – but that’s okay, because something else is. It’s time to pick up the pieces and to consider what exactly you want from your future. That may be different from the future you envisioned with your ex, which is good. You should use this time as a way to figure out what you gave up for your marriage and what you can now take back and own.
A divorce is the end of an era, but it could also be the beautiful start of a brand new you.