Divorce can be a traumatic event. No matter the reason the divorce is happening or how amicable it is, divorce signifies a kind of death. It is the ending of the life you thought you would have with your partner, but it is also the beginning of a new life, of another life. Learning constructive ways to cope with your divorce and with the feelings it will elicit will help you move forward and start again. There are things you can do to get you through this difficult time. Here are five strategies for coping with divorce.
Accept the feelings that will come
The ending of a marriage or long-term relationship will mean that you will have to face a lot of different feelings. There is no one “right” way to feel when a relationship ends. It’s normal to feel angry, sad, frustrated, and relieved all at once. Accepting these emotions and understanding that everyone copes with loss differently is key to moving on in a healthy and happy way. Don’t let anyone tell you how you’re supposed to feel or what you’re supposed to be doing.
Find your support system
Divorce can seem insurmountable when you’re going it alone, which is why it’s essential that you find a support system that can help you cope. Family, friends, and support groups are all key ways that you can begin to process the loss and move on. Finding experienced divorce solicitors in London who can help you is also essential. The dissolution of a marriage or long-term relationship can be complicated legally, having someone on your side who understands and can help will make the entire experience much easier.
Be kind to yourself
A lot of guilt, shame, and anger can come up when going through a divorce. Take time to be kind to yourself and to not carry all the blame. Understand that you won’t be functioning at an optimal level for a time. Your hobbies may fall to the wayside and you might not be at the top of your game at work, and that’s okay. You are allowed to take the time you need to heal.
Avoid fighting with your ex
This can be a hard one, but in the end it’s for the best. If your relationship has reached a point where divorce is happening, fighting or digging up old wounds won’t help anyone. If a discussion with your ex starts to turn into a fight, step away. This is both for your mental health and for your legal position in the divorce, and it’s especially important if there are children in the picture
Know that things will get better, in time
Time is a great healer. It may seem insurmountable now, but eventually your life will settle down and get back to normal. You will have an interest in hobbies again and find joy in things. You will feel at ease and you will be happy again. Understand that divorce is a serious loss and you are permitted to grieve that loss, and in time you will heal.