How To Escape An Abusive Relationship
Need to get out of an abusive relationship? By acknowledging the abuse and the fact that you need to escape, you’ve already taken the first step. Here are some of the other steps you will need to take to free yourself.
Document the abuse
Keeping a record of the abuse could be important for legally protecting yourself in the future. For instance, you may want to file a restraining order or you may need to claim custody over your kids if they are in danger. Even if it doesn’t come to this, the evidence is still worth having just in case. This could be diary notes you’ve made or it could include photos, videos or audio. If the abuse is physical, seeing a doctor about bruises or cuts could be important for providing a medical record of it.
Reach out for help
Having the support of others will make it easier to escape. Open up to friends and family if you haven’t already – don’t be afraid to reconnect with family or friends that you may have been cut off from. These people may be able to help you plan your escape and provide care for you afterwards. At a later stage, you may even want to look into forms of professional help such as contacting a divorce lawyer or a child custody lawyer.
Plan your escape
It’s important that you plan your escape thoroughly. Set a date, but be prepared to leave earlier if the abuse starts up again – an emergency bag could be worth packing. If your partner controls the finances in your relationship, you may have to prepare yourself financially – this could involve stashing away some cash or even setting up your own account. You should also plan who you will stay with after you have escaped. Finally, take steps to protect your kids, your pets and any valuable property that belongs to you. It may even be necessary to change passwords to accounts.
Block all contact
Make sure that there’s no way in which your abuser can get hold of you once you’ve taken the decision to leave. Block their number and block them on all social media. You could even encourage friends and family to do the same.
Focus on moving on
It’s natural to still have deep feelings of love for someone that you were in a relationship with, regardless of whether they abused you. Don’t let these feelings persuade you into returning as you may find that they’re able to manipulate you into staying. Focus on building up your confidence – surround yourself with friends and family and consider counseling if you think it will benefit you. Avoid jumping into another relationship too soon and focus on yourself. Now could be time to do all the things you never could do with your abuser – so make the most of this freedom.