Communication is essential in a healthy relationship but many couples struggle with it. When you are having problems, it is important that you are both able to communicate your issues calmly and come to a resolution together. If you cannot communicate well, you will end up bottling up your issues until they bubble over and you end up fighting. Arguing and shouting at one another without addressing the underlying problem won’t get you anywhere, and this is how relationships start to break down. If this all sounds familiar and you think that you may be having communication issues in your relationship, these are some of the best ways to fix it.
Understand Personality Types
There are 9 main personality types and we all fit into one of these categories; Idealist, Caregiver, Performer, Creative, Thinker, Loyalist, Adventurer, Protector and Peacekeeper. Each personality type prefers to communicate in a different way, and if you are approaching your partner in a way that doesn’t fit their personality, you will be more likely to clash. For example, a Protector likes people to be clear and direct about their thoughts while Creatives value emotional understanding and recognition of their personal identity above all else and a logical, direct approach may seem cold and uncaring to them. The Enneagram Personality Test helps you to work out which one of these categories you fall into. If you and your partner figure out who you are by taking the test, you will get more insight into your partner and how you should communicate with them. As long as you respect one another’s personality type and communicate in the right way, you will find that you connect more and avoid arguments.
Practice Active Listening
Many people think that they’re good at listening but they aren’t. Listening doesn’t just mean waiting for the other person to stop talking, which is what many of us do. If you want to improve communication in your relationship, it’s important that you practice active listening. Pay full attention to your partner and consider their body language so you can see how they are really feeling. Make sure that your body language is positive and demonstrates that you are really listening. Don’t be afraid to tolerate silence and wait for them to collect their thoughts and continue either. Cutting in all of the time will only make them feel like you are not really listening.
Tackle Important Conversations Early
In any relationship, there are some big conversations that you need to have. Are you both committed to the relationship and do you see a future? Does that future include marriage and children? Obviously, you don’t need to talk about this stuff on a first date, but it’s important that you are on the same page once things start to get serious. Talking about marriage in the future is not the same as a proposal and you should have these conversations sooner rather than later. If you don’t, you may find that you both have a completely different idea of where the relationship is going and that will lead to a lot of communication issues later on when you do broach these subjects.
Follow these simple rules and you will be able to improve communication in your relationship and overcome your problems together.