A Devastating Diagnosis: Supporting a Loved One With Mesothelioma

The “C” word, cancer, you never want to think about it, but it does happen. What do you do when a loved one is diagnosed with mesothelioma? Here’s how to take care of them.

A Devastating Diagnosis: Supporting a Loved One With Mesothelioma
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What To Say (And What Not To Say)

This is one of the most important things you can learn. Patients that are diagnosed with it are often blindsided because it’s such a rare, but devastating, form of cancer. Many of the most common phrases used to address a patient are some of the ones that your loved one probably wants to hear the most.

For example, your loved one may want you to ask about their day or something more germane. Rather than dwell on their condition, keep things lighthearted. Odds are, they already feel terrible about what’s going on. And, many patients are confused about their condition, so they don’t really know how to answer questions like: “what are your chances?”

These are questions that are addressed in Joseph Belluck’s book, of course, but they’re not something your loved one is probably comfortable discussing. Also, avoid filler conversation like “It’s going to be okay.” An empty promise of wellness isn’t going to come off the way you think it will.

Recognize That Time Is A Gift

Patients who have cancer don’t have something you have — time. They will benefit from the gift of your time rather than a physical gift of sympathy, like flowers. Offer to run errands or do chores that your loved one maybe can’t do or do as effectively or efficiently anymore. Don’t treat them as a helpless invalid, but do help them out and make it clear that you’re doing it because you care about them and you just want to help in any way you can.

Offering to take them grocery shopping, or even doing the grocery shopping for them, will help them in more ways than you can imagine. Or, you can simply sit with them and just listen. They may just want an ear to lean on when they’re lonely. This a very emotional time for them.

Research The Condition

Mesothelioma is a serious form of cancer, with a low survival rate. It’s important to understand this. There is only one known cause, and no cure. It’s a cancer unlike many others because it is so debilitating. If you know as much as possible about your loved one’s illness, it may help you better sympathize with him or her.

It can also help you better take care of your loved one and understand their natural limitations.

A Devastating Diagnosis: Supporting a Loved One With Mesothelioma
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Give Personalized Gifts

When you do give gifts, make them personalized. You can’t go wrong with sympathy flowers or cards. But, something from the heart is going to mean so much more, especially to a friend or relative whose time is fleeting. They’re looking for anything positive, and you can give it to them.

This cancer often requires both surgery and chemotherapy or radiation. The lungs are the organs usually affected by the disease and surgery often impacts the chest, throat, and surrounding area.

Maybe you could fill a basket with lozenges and a hand-knit blanket or hat, for example. This would go a long way towards making your friend feel more comfortable. And, in the end, that’s all you can really do.

Anthony French works as a nurse. A kind and caring soul, Anthony is always looking out for the relatives as well as patients in his care, giving them the support and advice they need to help a loved one through an illness.

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