Meeting someone and falling in love is something that every single person on the planet wants to do. There really is nothing like it. From the outside looking in, single people see others in love and are grossed out by public displays of affection. The truth is, however, that would absolutely love to be on those shoes; the negativity doesn’t exactly mask the jealousy very well!
If you’ve not been in a relationship for a while (or ever), then approaching the entire game can be so very daunting. In our society, we put a lot of pressure on relationships, and we love the drama that revolves around it. It’s a part of so many different aspects of life: movies, TV shows, books, the latest conversations between friends – I could go on for a while. The point is that love, dating, and relationships are such an important cog in our communities whether we like it or not. If you’re completely new to it or are a very shy individual, then the idea of finding someone can really make you anxious and even get you down.
The societal pressure put onto people to find someone and settle down means that almost everything that happens regarding relationships is heavily scrutinized. If you’re lacking confidence and self-esteem, then anything negative surrounding it can have a massive impact on you.
Thankfully, relationships and the dating game isn’t actually that difficult to crack. It just looks that way when you’re not in the right frame of mind, or not in the correct position to pursue. If relationships were THAT complicated, then hardly anyone would be in them. The key to finding someone is to have a bit of self-confidence and conviction. If you have that about you, then you can fire yourself straight into it and handle everything that’s thrown at you.
It’s just a case of finding that confidence from somewhere, isn’t it? It’s so very frustrating not being able to back your own ability. It’s so frustrating fearing what might happen in the future because you don’t know if you’ll be able to tackle what’s ahead. Confidence is a complete game-changer, so you’ll need it to rise a little if you want to beat the relationship game and get exactly what you want out of it. Fortunately, there are some pretty simple ways we can make our confidence and self-esteem elevate to the level we want. Here are a bunch of methods for you right now:
Make Yourself Look GOOD
We’ll start off with one of the most obvious ways to boost your self-esteem: changing up your look. It doesn’t matter what gender you are; if you feel as though you’re going to be attractive to someone, then it boosts your morale instantly. The chances are that if you think you look good; someone else will too. New hair or a new, fresh outfit could do a lot for you. You’ve been around long enough to know that scrubbing up and getting a new, clean attire can make you quite the looker. Do it. Show yourself off. Be the hottest you can be.
If you don’t take your appearance seriously, then others are going to see that, and they’ll jump to conclusions. Do your best to get eyes for all the right reasons.
Don’t Put It On A Pedestal
One of the worst things you can do in nearly all walks of life is to place a huge amount of importance on something. When it comes to finding someone, people are doing it all over the world. When you hit it off with someone, the chances are that you’ll think about them a lot – that’s completely fine. What you shouldn’t do is think of them as the be-all and end-all. It’s pretty difficult to do when you start to get a little attached, but it’s pretty vital if you’re to come out of the situation with your head held high. Whether it works out or not, you should view them as an option that wouldn’t break you if they left. Attaching yourself to something and clinging on to the idea of a relationship with them can absolutely destroy you.
You should also lower the importance of dating in general. At the top, we said that the feeling is wonderful, but it’s not exactly what life is all about. There are so many different facets to this strange life, and dating is a supplement of it. Once you realize that it’s not something that should rule you and make you feel like a lesser person, you’ll ironically be more inclined to get involved with it all.
Work On Yourself
What’s going on in your own head and in your own life matters so much more than anything else. Relationships shouldn’t be used to conceal problems, and they won’t remove any issues you have in your life. You’ll also be more content with regards to finding someone when everything in your life in a little straighter. One of the biggest reasons you’re not confident with meeting people and letting them into your life is that you’re pretty insecure your own situation. You don’t want them to know about a few things in your life.
Fix it up. Don’t worry about dating or attracting anyone just yet. Do all you can to be happier. Tackle your mental health as much as you can. Focus on your job, and make sure you’re enjoying what you do for a living. Take part in some of your hobbies and passions. When things are internally better; things externally will subsequently improve.
Don’t Try Too Hard
When you put in too much effort to impress someone or to find that perfect person, then you’ll only set yourself up for failure. You will have wasted lots of minutes and hours thinking about how to approach a non-existent situation. Trying too hard to get someone to fall for you is a killer. We’ve all done it before. It’s something we do when we’re naïve or desperately fearing scarcity. Don’t even bother with it. It’ll only kill your confidence even more because the idea of failing after putting in so much effort only demoralizes people more.
Talk About It With Friends
The best thing about opening up to friends about your relationship status and situation is that they’ll make you feel more comfortable with where you are. Sure, some of your pals might want to make a cheap remark from time to time, but their overall message will be one of great care and love. They’ll be able to give you all kinds of feedback and advice, too, which is pretty necessary for you to progress with this kind of stuff. Laughing is important, and when you share a few things with them, they’ll be able to make you chuckle and awful lot. The ability to laugh at yourself is something that all confident people have. Taking something super serious and making it a joke can do wonders for your mental state.
Think Of The Clean Slate Theory
There are seven billion people on this planet. I hate to break it to you, but your soulmate probably isn’t stood at the end of your driveway. There are so many people out there that you have more than your fair share to choose from. That one person you’re talking to right now is just a spec on this planet. Yes, they might be the one, but they also might not be – and that’s okay! Let’s say you’re talking to something and you decide to shoot your shot with them. Let’s also say that they reject you in the most humiliating way possible. The chances are that you’re never, ever going to see them again, so you really shouldn’t care that this instance took place. You just draw a line under it and pretend it never happened – you can literally do that. It’s easier said than done, but it’s absolutely something you can do.
Talk To People Online
A great way to practice this kind of thing is to just converse with people over the internet or through other indirect means. There’s no pressure in these situations because you’re not stood directly in front of them. Social media makes it so easy to find people that you might be interested in – just have a little chat with them there. Dating apps are also great for practicing – you don’t always have to push for a date with those things! You could also speak on Top Phone Chat Lines for singles if you ever want a verbal conversation with someone. Slowly but surely building up your people skills and flirting skills is a great way to build that confidence of yours.
Learn To Enjoy Rejection!
Rejection is and has always been seen as a miserable affair. Movies, TV shows, books, and all kinds of situations pigeonhole it as something you should be ashamed of. Now, obviously you’d like to succeed with everything you do, but you’re not going to learn or progress without lots of failures. Learn to take rejection on the chin. You’ll be mentally stronger for it. Constantly trying and failing will take you all the way to the love of your life. You know this to be true.