When we’re young, most of us dream of being all grown up. We think that things will be so much fun, so simple and easy and many of us have a picture of what life will be like painted to us by our parents and caregivers. It’s only when we reach our adult years ourselves that we realise that things arent quite as they seemed, and adulthood is fraught with difficulties and unexpected issues that we’d never considered. Here are five things that most of us will have to come to terms with at one time or another.
Finances are difficult to manage
Money is one of the most difficult things to master in your adult life. Chances are, no matter how much you earn, it never feels like quite enough. But it’s so important to be in control of your money, you should learn how to budget, how to save for a rainy day and how to make your money stretch during leaner times. Many of us make mistakes with money while we’re young, it can lead to arrears and debts which all come with hassles and headaches. Try to make better decisions, learn as you go and give yourself as much financial security as you can. This involves not living beyond your means, paying all of your priority bills first and finding additional ways to earn money in your free time. This could be anything from blogging to freelancing to running a home business. You don’t truly learn about money until you’re living independently, and have to work out how to use the money you have to live the way you want and ensuring everything is paid on time. There’s no doubt about it, money is difficult to manage and it’s something we all learn as we start living as adults.
Not everyone has the same heart as you
Adulthood is a time where friendships can be tested, relationships can break down and you might even experience things like bullying in the workplace. It’s difficult, but it’s going through these situations that you learn that not everyone has the same heart as you. You learn to be more cautious, you let people earn your trust rather than give it away- and that’s no bad thing. It’s easy as a naive child, teen or young adult to assume that deep down everyone is good, but sadly this isn’t the case. While there are many good people out there, there are others that will use and manipulate or worse. Don’t let bad experiences make you bitter or distanced from others, but definitely take the lessons when you’ve been burned. Maybe a friend betrayed you, or a bad relationship lead to you seeking help from a narcissistic abuse recovery program. Once you’ve had time to heal, reflect back on what happened and use it to make you stronger and wiser going forward.
Work isn’t always rewarding
We have it drilled into our heads when we’re young that we have to work hard in school so we’ll get the job we want when we leave. However, things are rarely this simple. Life is full of twists and turns, maybe you didn’t get the grades you needed to get the job you want. Maybe you did, but you changed your mind on what you wanted to do meaning you’re back at square one. Perhaps you did get the job you thought you wanted, but actually it’s not like you expected. So much of our identity and security is tied up in work that it’s an important part of our lives, but the sad fact is that it’s not always rewarding. Sometimes you might find yourself struggling to even get out of the door and get there, or stuck in a rut that feels like groundhog day. This can happen even if you don’t mind what you do. Many of us go through phases of feeling like this at times, however if you actively despise your job or workplace then it might be time to consider moving onto something new.
Loss is a part of life
It’s when we reach adulthood that unfortunately we can start to lose people and things that we love. Grandparents, even parents. Family pets, friends- it’s always going to be excruciatingly difficult and is a tough part of life to deal with. Loss is never easy and each one can be as tough as the last, but sadly it’s something we all experience as the years go on in our lives. If you find yourself suffering with grief, make sure that you get the help and support you need. Reach out to loved ones, don’t feel like you’re on your own. If you feel depressed over a longer time then medication and/ or counselling can help so visit your local GP.
Life doesn’t owe you anything
When we’re children, we’re constantly told we can do anything we put our mind to. We’re told that if we work hard then we’ll be rewarded- good grades leading to a good job, the ability to buy a home, meet a partner, get married, have kids and lead a happy existence. It’s the plan that most of us have in our minds, and so when we reach adulthood and things aren’t quite going that way it can have you feeling like a bit of a failure. If you’ve not been able to get the job you want then finances will be troubling, if you’re yet to meet the right partner then it’s easy to feel like you never will. The way the economy is, many of us find ourselves wondering if we’ll ever be able to afford our own home. One of the hardest truths we have to face is that life doesn’t owe us a thing. However, that doesn’t mean that it can’t be good. Once you let go of your preconceptions of what life should be, then you’re free to live yours as you want. You might not be married at twenty five or a property owner by thirty. You might not have graduated at twenty one or even learned to drive until you were much older. But if you ditch the timelines and expectations you can start living for you- and be so much happier doing so!