The failure of any relationship can take it out of your, but when you go through a divorce it can be especially tough. You will have invested so much emotionally, physically, and even financially into your relationship. You will have a lot of memories together, and you may also have children and shared property in common.
But when half of your life is taken away from you, you will be left with some very complicated and unhappy emotions. Getting back into the swing of life after divorce will take time, and it will be tough, but you can find happiness, and there is a future for you.
It Is Okay To Not Be Okay
You will go through a lot of complicated emotions when you get divorced and losing a partner in this way will cause you to feel as though you are grieving. Everyone is different and there is no expected way that you should be. It is important that you understand that however you are feeling, it is okay to not be okay.
Time does heal wounds, and you will slowly start to feel better about life. You may always carry something from that relationship with you, but you can move past it and get on with your life. But don’t force or rush yourself.
If you need help, reach out. There are support groups for people who are going through exactly what you are going through. You may want to also seek out a counselor who can help you to understand how you are feeling and allow you the chance to develop a coping strategy that will be healthy for you.
Dealing With Shared Interests Following The Divorce
In many situations, it is possible to make a clean break following a divorce. And it some cases this can be helpful because it allows both parties to get on with their lives and think about their own best interests.
But when there are children or shared finances such as a mortgage to think about, then you will have a more complicated situation to deal with. You will need to remain in contact with each other, and you will still need to find a way of working with each other to make things work as best they can.
There are no winners in a situation like this, and the sooner you both come to the realization that you have both lost and set aside blame for this, the easier it will become.
Try to be as amicable as possible, and always look for ways to make things as easy for your former partner as possible. It may not always seem to be in your best interests, but in the long term, saving yourself the heartache and the animosity a bitter feud could cause you will mean you can move on.
Many divorced couples manage to find a way of getting on with their lives and maintain some kind of contact with each other. Some people can even grow to be friends with their former partners.
Try To Resist The Urge To Detach Yourself From All Aspects Of Your Life
When you are going through a divorce, there may be an urge for you to try and hide away from people and detach from areas of your life. This is a natural feeling, and it may be because you feel ashamed of the situation that you have found yourself in, or you may worry that you will be judged as a failure.
You are not a failure and there is no need to be ashamed. You will find that you have friends and family who want to step up and be supportive of you, and this is an excellent time to really connect with the people that you are close to.
Pushing people away when you need them the most may cause you problems later down the line. Losing a significant relationship in your life does not mean that you need to lose all of the relationships in your life, and you should focus your attention on enjoying the company of people who are important to you.
Look For Opportunities to Find Joy In Life
It may seem like a cliche that many people make big changes in their lives or take up new hobbies after going through a divorce. But there is a good reason for this to happen, and if you are in this situation, you should look to connect with the things that you enjoy.
Often people have hobbies that they have neglected for years. They may have always wanted to try something out, but something held them back. Finding yourself after divorce means pushing yourself to try out the things that interest you. You are not obliged to do anything that does not interest you, and you are not doing this for anyone else’s benefit. So look for things that will make you happy, and don’t be afraid to try lots of things.
Join a club or a class that is based around an interest or passion of yours. This will put you in touch with a new social circle too, with who you may find friendships.
Decide Who You Want To Be And Become That Person
When we’re in a relationship, we are often defined by that partnership. We see ourselves as one half of something, and we always view ourselves through the eyes of another person. Being in a long term relationship can cause you to feel as though you have lost your own sense of identity, and when you are recovering from a divorce, you may feel completely lost and as such will be looking to regain your own sense of identity.
Think about how you want to be perceived by other people. What qualities do you want them to see you as having? You don’t need to change who you are, but this is a great opportunity to redefine yourself and become a better person.
Divorce can make people bitter and isolated. But if you decide that you are not going to let it ruin you, and you are going to become a better person from it, you will find inner strength that you never knew that you had.
Dealing With Loneliness
Going it alone can be tough, and loneliness is something that you should factor. If you have never lived on your own, it can be hard to adapt.
Find ways of enjoying your alone time. Find books that you want to read, take long baths, or pick up a new hobby. Being alone does not mean that you have to be lonely, and many people grow to love their own company.
Don’t be afraid to tell your friends and family if you are feeling lonely though. They may well be able to help, and there is no shame in the way that you feel.
When To Start Looking For New Romances
There is no right or wrong time to start looking toward future relationships. On the one hand, you need to know that you have dealt with many of the complicated negative feelings associated with your separation and divorce before you can move on. But, on the other hand, you should not be fearful or inclined to hold off forming relationships if they appear.
If you are purposefully setting yourself out to join the dating game, make sure that you feel fully ready and are not carrying any baggage with you from your previous relationship. It is not fair to saddle a new partner with any hangups that you have picked up from your last partner.