How to Support Friends or Family as They Escape Abuse
Abuse between friends or within family units comes in many forms, but all of them can have devastating and lasting repercussions for everyone involved. For those removed from a situation, the decision to escape abuse often seems a lot simpler than it is for the victim. Supporting a loved one as they try to get out of a dangerous living situation or relationship requires patience, compassion and understanding.
Listen and Learn
The first step in any support effort should be to learn as much as you can about the specifics of the situation and the nature of the abuse. Evidence of life-threatening danger should be addressed immediately. Otherwise, you should use this research time to develop a full understanding of the dynamics of personal relationships and potential leverage the abuser could use.
Communicate and Build Trust
After taking the time to learn about the individual’s specific situation, you should start building on your existing relationship to encourage trust, honesty and constructive thought. In many situations, it’s important to build up the person’s sense of worth and hope for the future to compel them to action. Communication should take the form of conversation rather than a lecture. It’s essential to listen to what they think and say so you can understand their motivations and limitations.
Find Actionable Solutions
Many victims of abuse struggle to escape simply because they don’t know of a realistic pathway to get out of the situation, especially if they don’t have the resources to live on their own. Real support should include accessible and actionable strategies, like contact information for a domestic violence attorney or information resources about recognizing psychological manipulation in relationships. Even small steps, like a single visit with a personal counselor or spending several days away from home, can be the tipping point to further growth.
Don’t Give Up
For friends and family members of abuse victims, few things are as frustrating as watching the person repeatedly return to the situation or make excuses about why they can’t leave. There are many factors that contribute to this mentality, but it’s absolutely essential that supporters remain patient, persistent and compassionate in their approach. It can often take months to help someone fully appreciate the situation that they are in and learn how to separate themselves from toxic relationships.
Escaping from abuse and unhealthy relationships is rarely an easy task, but it’s a necessary step for living a full and healthy life. Having dedicated friends and family to support victims throughout the process can significantly improve the chances of long-term success.