You have talked about having children before, but now you are wanting to move this from just being a thought, to it becoming your reality. Adding a baby to the mix changes a lot of things for couples. Not only are your responsibilities changing but so will your relationship. You possible know of couples that have rushed into having a baby too soon and this causing them challenges adapting to life as a parent. For some couples it could be as simple as they hadn’t discussed if they were ready for sleepless nights, taking on more responsibilities, the financial aspect or even how this would really change their day-to-day life and how they would cope individually and as a couple. So, before making any decisions to expand your family, it is very important to have a lengthy and honest conversation to ensure you both feel ready to take the leap and embrace these changes. Here are some things to consider to help you decide and what you really need to think about.
Are You Ready To Put Another’s Needs Above Your Own
Having a baby is a huge responsibility. You’ve probably heard that before, but you do need to take a moment and consider the gravity of raising a child. With babies they are unable to do anything, they will wake through the night, need endless attention and 100% of you. Ultimately this means that their needs, need to come above that of you. Some babies thrive with routines and with a strict schedule to follow which can result in your needs or wants to have to be put to one side to ensure theirs are being met.
Consider If You Have The Financial Capabilities for A Baby
There are so many aspects of having a baby that increases stress without adding finances into the equation. If you are questioning the financial part and whether you can afford a baby, it might be worth waiting or at least reviewing your finances in more detail and making changes. There are costs to consider during pregnancy such as medical and costs to be off work. Then once the baby arrives you have to consider the costs of diapers, clothes, wipes, formula, insurances and even the cost of childcare in the future. You also will want to consider the costs for health insurance for both you and your partner and life insurances. Once you have children these types of insurances become more important to ensure their financial future.
Can Your Relationship Handle it?
If you are going through a rough patch, adding a baby, sleepless nights and added hormones will not help. Typically families find that problems they had before children, only increased once a baby was born. Once you have a family, if the relationship fails there are more considerations to take as well when separating, from who will have the children, maintenance amounts and visitation, this is where JacksonWhite Family Law can help. By having a strong a sturdy relationship you, as a couple, will be able to learn and solve the problems associated with parenting together and talk openly about your parenting style and how you choose to raise the children together, from deciding on how to approach weaning to how you will encourage sports, working together will make it all easier.
Are You Both Independent?
There is nothing worse than having a baby and having this additional responsibility, only to have your eyes opened to the fact that you are also raising your significant other as well. If you are constantly having to look after them as well, you will find yourself getting tired and not being able to share the parenting responsibilities 50/50, which could cause you to burn out.
Is Your Home Suitable For A Baby
Baby’s on their own do not take up much space. However, that being said they require some large bulky items of furniture and as they grow they will need more and toys. Items such as a crib, chamnging table, plus additional items such a baby bouncer and swing will be needed. Then as the baby gets bigger you will also want to ensure that you have the space and spare room available to give the baby their own bedroom and regain your back for you and your other half. If space may be a concern, it is worth considering if moving somewhere larger is feasible.
How Will You Both Cope With Lack Of Sleep
Once a baby arrives you will find your ability to sleep changes drastically. Some babies are naturally poor sleepers whilst others are good and will sleep through from an early age. There is no knowing which you will have until they arrive. Some parents find they have disterbed nights for years and years. Of course, with a waking baby, you will find you are having a wake more. When this happens how will you both cope. Have you got additional support? It is important to make this large change as positive as possible by being able to communicate well within your relationship. By doing this you will be able to make a plan on how this can be best managed. Some parents try to share the waking responsibilities so each party is allowed to have a stretch on continuous sleep each night.
Although this isn’t necessarily the first thing you think of when having a baby it is important to consider what leave and finances you will be entitled to when preparing for a baby. The first step is deciding as a couple who will be taking leave. Will this be shared or will one parent be taking the time and being the main caregiver. It is also worth speaking to your boss to understand what time off is offered and what this means to your earnings. Once this is understood you will be able to again reassess your finiances to ensure that you will be able to afford being off work and supporting your baby’s need.