Around 30% of Americans have tried an online dating site or app. There is no longer a taboo or any failure associated with doing so anymore.
Dating online is a far more efficient and successful way of meeting a potential life partner.
But that doesn’t mean it is easy, and figuring out how to date online is as much of a minefield as dating the old-fashioned way. You still need to be able to ask relevant yet interesting online dating questions. It’s the only way you will know whether they are worth meeting in person or not.
In need of some inspiration? Here are some questions to ask a potential mate to see if they will go the distance.
1. What Are Your Values?
Okay, this might not be one of the best online dating questions to open with. But, it should be something you ask early in the conversation.
Your values include your non-negotiable life goals and dreams. These could include:
- If you are looking for a relationship or something casual
- Whether you want children and your ideal number
- Whether you want pets, which pets, and your ideal number
- Political, social, and religious stances and opinions
- Where you want to live e.g. hometown, abroad, etc.
- Relationship viewpoint e.g. traditional gender roles, etc.
These are only examples, as you may not be so concerned about your future partner’s religion. But it might be important to some.
Some might think that asking these questions before or on a first date is too soon. But, there is no point in making it to the fourth date before you realize you want zero children and they want five.
If you want to cut out time-wasters, you could even include some of this information in your online dating profile. Or, if one of your values is more important to you than others, you could try a dating site tailored to this value. For example, you could try a free Arab dating site or one for queer people.
2. How Are You Finding Online Dating?
This is a cheeky online dating question. Because the real information you want to find out is how long they have been on the site/app and how many dates they’ve had.
Remember not to read into their answers too much, as interesting as they might be. If they have been on the site a while and not had a lot of dates, that could either mean they aren’t very interesting and don’t get a lot of second dates. Or, it could mean they have high standards and know exactly what they want.
And if they have had a lot of dates, that could mean they do not know what they want or it could mean they have committed themselves to find a partner.
It is only a simple, light-hearted question that moves beyond small talk and gets you talking about the reason you are both on the site.
3. Where Did You Grow Up?
People’s backgrounds are not the most important thing about them. But, it is natural to be curious about your potential future partner’s childhood.
Asking someone where they grew up is a non-invasive way to get them to open up about this part of their life. You could then ask relevant follow-up questions, for example:
- Did you live in a city or the countryside?
- Did you enjoy living there?
- Do you have siblings? How old are they?
- Are you and your siblings close?
- Did you have pets when you were younger?
- Are your parents still together? What did they do for work?
- Do you have a close relationship with your parents?
- When you were younger, what did you want to be when you grew up?
Asking about formative years tells you a lot more about a person than you might think. You now know what their relationships are like with their family which will affect you if you were to become their partner.
You can also find out if they have distanced themselves from their upbringing for whatever reason. And, if there is any potential trauma or trigger there.
4. How Did You Spend Your Weekend?
This is one of those lighthearted online dating questions where it sounds like you are asking one question. But actually, you are asking a different one.
By asking someone what they did with their weekend, you will find out what their real passions, hobbies, and priorities are.
If you ask someone on an online dating site what they’re passionate about, they will say traveling, hiking, and spending time with friends. But if they spent their weekend drinking beer and watching Netflix, this tells a different story.
You want to find someone who lives a full, exciting life and not someone who pretends they do. Hiking once every summer does not make it a passion.
5. What Are Your Favorite Funny Movies/TV Shows?
Everyone wants the same thing in a partner: a sense of humor! But the reality is, everyone has a sense of humor. Everyone finds something funny.
The trick is to find a partner with the same sense of humor.
The best way to do this is to ask them about their favorite comedy films and what sitcoms they like to watch over and over again. Chances are, if you both like Adam Sandler films and you both love to re-watch The Office when you are feeling sick, you have a similar sense of humor.
Vital Online Dating Questions for the Best Chance of Finding True Love
Asking the right online dating questions is super important if you want to only date people with the potential to be your future partner. And there are ways you can ask simple questions but get very revealing answers.
Once you shift your strategy, you will have far more successful dating experiences and get much closer to finding your person.
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