When you make an investment through any broker or financial institution, you’ll see in plain text below any plan or policy “your investments can go down as well as up. Speak with your financial advisor about any investments you make.” The reason financial institutions say things like this is because they know that things can go wrong: horribly wrong. People can have their savings wiped out by the vicissitudes of the market and lose it all. It’s devastating.
But when it comes to another important decision in life – who you marry – you don’t get the same cautionary disclaimer. Even though everyone knows that a large percentage of marriages fail horribly, for some reason, the risk is never discussed.
There’s a conspiracy of silence around the inevitability of divorce. The chance of losing all your money in the stock market is pretty low, but the possibility of losing your primary relationship is much higher. Marriages should come with a warning in large print: “THIS COULD RUIN YOUR LIFE.”
What’s even scarier about marriage is that it usually leads to children. It’s not just the partners themselves who depend on the success of their relationship, but the tiny mouths that depend on their emotional stability to have a regular upbringing. Children don’t want to have to flipflop between two sets of parents. It’s hard on them.
Here are four things that they should tell you on your wedding day.
#1: Ensure That Things Remain Amicable
Most legal experts, like Cordell & Cordell, would agree that it’s usually better to split amicably. The last thing you want is for tempers to fray and for one of the parties to decide that the only way to settle matters is through the courts.
#2: Social Engagements After Your Divorce Will Be Very Different
Your friends and family get used to the idea that you and your partner come as a pair. When you don’t, it can create confusion and a lot of unwanted conversations. Divorce changes how you interact with people and can ultimately lead to social anxiety issues. When you’re on your own, you often forget just how much you rely on your partner.
There’s another problem too: you and your ex-spouse will probably share a lot of friends. Getting a divorce can make things awkward and change the dynamic. You could experience more considerable hostility.
#3: All Divorces Are Different
For some people, divorce seems inevitable from the wedding day. Things just aren’t working out: there are arguments, and the two personalities don’t mix. For others, it’s the sudden, shock discovery that their spouse has betrayed them, seemingly for no reason. No two divorces are the same, and you can’t usually predict when, how or why a couple will split.
#4: You Could Hate The Person You’re Marrying One Day
It’s hard to imagine ever being able to hate your spouse, especially on your wedding day, but it’s possible. Unlike everyone else in the world, they have a unique ability to hurt you. Humans are fallible, and so they might decide to use that ability, ruining your life.