Avoiding Toddler Tantrums: Improving Communication Through Sign Language
Toddler tantrums: whether you are already dealing with them or are dreading that stage of your child’s life, you know the drill. No one wants to be the parent of a difficult child, and yet it seems an inevitable fate. Or is it? Instead of dismissing tantrums as a fact of life, researchers have studied the source of tantrums in order to prevent them. What they have discovered may surprise you: tantrums are likely to be the result of communication breakdown between parents and children, and the solution may be as simple as using your hands. Lets look deeper into avoiding toddler tantrums.
Lack of Communication: a Frustrating Prison
Imagine for a moment not being able to communicate your wants and needs. You go to a restaurant, look at the delightful menu, and then find yourself completely unable to make the server understand what you would like. Instead of that delicious sounding Alfredo that you wanted, the server brings you fish, and you hate fish. However, despite your best attempts to explain the problem to your server, he fails to understand and insists that you eat the fish. Would you feel like screaming? While you may be able to control yourself in that situation, imagine a similar scenario playing out multiple times a day in a variety of circumstances.
Some researchers and parents believe that is precisely the situation that many toddlers face multiple times a day. Struggling to communicate their needs and wishes to the adults around them, some toddlers find themselves failing to get the message across. The result is what we call tantrums: the toddler vents his frustration in the only communication method that gets attention – inappropriate, yes, but easier to understand if we adults put ourselves in the shoes of our children.
Finding Freedom in Signing
The ability to form words and communicate with speech varies from child to child. Although specialists have developed charts that show general patterns of development, we have all known children that learned their first words very early, and we’ve all had experience with those that developed their speaking abilities a little later than what is considered normal. When a person of any age is unable to communicate their needs, the resulting frustration can result in harsh reactions. Children that have not yet learned to control their reactions usually demonstrate their frustration through tantrums.
However, motor skills often develop much sooner in small children, as they reach and grab for things within their reach, even though their fine motor skills may not have fully developed. Harnessing those motor skills into intentional movements, movements which represent wanted objects can be a life-changer, not just for the child, but also for the adults who care for them. For instance, children who only know how to say gaa will get frustrated when adults cannot figure out if gaa means water, a book, or hold me. But when children suddenly discover that they can use their hands to communicate exactly what their mouths cannot, they are instantly freed from their isolation bringing joy to their lives, until of course, they discover that adults don’t always give them everything they want!
Signing and Development
There has been concern that teaching a child to sign will actually delay development of language skills, as children may find signing easier than speaking. Extensive research by Susan Goodwyn, Linda Acredolo, and Catherine Brown, as well as others, demonstrate that babies who learn basic signs do not lag behind their non-signing peers in developmental skills. Rather, for the first 36 months of life, signing babies appear to score higher in certain developmental skills than non-signing babies. Although these advantages seem to disappear after the first three years of life, there are no known detrimental effects.
What does this mean for the average parent? While teaching your baby some basic signs is not a guarantee she will go to Harvard, or make the varsity team, it is likely to make the terrible twos and horrible threes a little more bearable. And what’s not to like about that?
Worried about learning how to sign? The good news is that you don’t have to become a professional sign language interpreter to communicate with your toddler. Signing with little ones is mostly just common sense. Come up with some easy signs and stick with them. Better yet, take advantage of one of the many baby signing resources available on the internet: using standard signs will give your child an advantage at caregiving facilities, increase productive communication, and raise your child’s level of satisfaction.
Carrie Thompson is a fan of The GiggleBellies and loves working with children. She is also a freelance writer. She lives in the beautiful state of Virginia, near the mountains, where the state of mind is relaxed and family-oriented.
As your child ages, they will become confident in their newfound signing abilities. However, there may be some setbacks when they begin trying to speak more. If you notice difficulties in forming words or fully articulating sentences that do not improve with time, it is time for further intervention. You can request in-home pediatric speech therapy services to make life easier for you and your child. A speech therapist will work with them to determine the best course of action for treatment so they can get on the path to better communication.