It can be very upsetting when relationships end – even if you are the person doing the ending. You think about your happy ending and what you want to do to achieve it, and it all seems within your grasp. Then the other shoe drops and you realize that the happy ending you’ve been craving doesn’t look like the fairytales you were sold when you were growing up.
It can be hard to deal with an ending of a relationship, especially if you didn’t want it to happen as and when it did. Endings are sad and painful, and they are often full of grief. When you add children into the mix, those endings become unbearable. However, there is no real reason that you can’t end happily. There is no reason you can’t be amicable with someone you once loved very much. Ending a relationship doesn’t mean that they are ending being a parent and it certainly doesn’t mean that you are ending a friendship. It all depends on the circumstances of the breakdown of the relationship in general.
So, what you need is to work out how to end things on a good note, where you can both move forward. Let’s take a look at some of the things that you can do to make it work.
- Be Adults. You once loved someone so much you decided to marry them and have a child with them. When you speak to them about custody and the arrangements that you need to make about your children, be kind and be adult about them. A child custody attorney should be a last resort for you both and you need to discuss everything pertaining to children with grace. The chances are that you can make the right arrangements between you and put your differences aside for the sake of the kids – like adults.
- Consider Counselling. Did you know that counselling was for more than reconciliation? Some people hear the word and assume that they want to get back together, but it’s not true. You can have a counsellor talk to you both about your relationship and how you smooth the course forward without having to get back together again. You can use the counsellor and their office as a place of mediation, somewhere to talk without raised voices and upset. It’s very refreshing to have a referee to a fight sometimes.
- Prepare The Kids. An ending of a relationship has a huge impact on children. Yes, they adjust when they are young, but that doesn’t make it any easier on them sometimes. You need to be ready to prepare them for the news that one parent won’t be living with them anymore. It’s hard for kids to hear that and it’s even harder for them to be okay with it. Children do suffer during divorce and the upheaval can be scary. So, both of you need a united front here and keep the children in mind first and foremost. That will make what you have to do so much easier.
Keep Your Ending Private. Does social media really need to hear about your ending? Absolutely. Does it need to hear the bitterness and upset and one-sidedness? Absolutely not. You can keep your relationship off of social media and you can keep your divorce off, too. Give each other some respect and some grace – you need it.