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If you find yourself in the unhappy circumstance of getting a divorce, there are certain things you should and shouldn’t do to make the process as smooth as possible. Here are four dos and don’ts to keep in mind.

Do Hire an Experienced Divorce Attorney

The divorce process is complicated, so you want a divorce attorney who knows the ins and outs and can fight for what’s fair. You also want someone with whom you feel comfortable communicating openly; after all, your lawyer will need to know sensitive personal information about you and your marriage. Finally, be sure to hire an attorney within your budget.

Don’t Rely on Your Soon-To-Be Ex for Financial Support

If you have been a stay-at-home parent or otherwise financially dependent on your spouse, it is important to take steps to become self-sufficient as soon as possible. This may mean getting a job, opening a bank account in your own name, or taking other measures to establish financial independence. Doing so will help you feel empowered during what can be a difficult time.

Do Keep Communication Civil With Your Ex

Arguing with your ex will only make an already tough situation more stressful—and it will model poor behavior for your kids, if you have any. If you need help staying calm, consider seeing a therapist or joining a support group for people going through divorce. These professionals and peers can provide impartial guidance and understanding that can be invaluable during this time.

Don’t Use Your Children as Messengers to Relay Messages to Your Ex

Kids should not be put in the middle of their parents’ divorce; doing so can cause them unnecessary stress. If you need to communicate with your ex about something related to your children, do so directly rather than using them as intermediaries. This will help reduce their anxiety about the situation and allow them to focus on being kids.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  No one gets married expecting to get divorced, but unfortunately, it happens—a lot. If you find yourself facing divorce, there are steps you can take to make the process go more smoothly. Hiring an experienced attorney, maintaining communication with your ex, and refraining from using children as messengers are all important things to keep in mind during this difficult time. Following these tips can help ensure that both you and your children make it through the divorce unscathed.

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