All couples go through rough patches in which there’s little to no intimacy. In most cases, the spark is still there – it may just need to be rekindled. However, in other cases, this spark can die completely. To work out whether you’ve fallen out of love, here are some of the things you should consider first before rushing into any decision.
Consider what has changed between you
There could be certain changes that have caused you to lose feelings for your partner. Perhaps their personality has changed? Or perhaps you’ve changed and they haven’t? Some changes may be possible to reverse and amend, whilst others may not. For instance, infidelity can often be a dealbreaker – once somebody has cheated this cannot be undone and you may feel there’s no moving on from this in terms of trust. Multiple negative changes within your relationship may also be a sign that there’s a lot to work on – you may not have the energy to work through this, in which case it could be time to call it quits.
Dedicate time just to the two of you
Many couples lose their spark simply by not spending enough time together. You may both be working different shifts or you may have had kids. By dedicating time just to you two, you can work out whether you still enjoy their company. You may find that you’ve been drifting apart from lack of contact. Alternatively, you may find your time together boring, and feel there’s little to connect you anymore – at which point you may well have fallen out of love.
Or try distancing yourself
If you constantly spend time together, distancing yourself may be a healthier way of working out whether you’ve fallen out of love. If you find yourself not missing them or thinking about them during this period, it could be a sign that there is little in the way of love left. Alternatively, you may find that your feeling for them grow greater (for some, absence makes the heart grow fonder).
Give counselling a go
Counselling could be another option to help determine whether there is anything between you. A counsellor may get you asking the questions you’d been afraid to ask. Some people find that after marriage counselling they are able to rebuild their relationship, whereas others realise there may have been no chemistry for a while. Either way, it could help you to go forward so that you’re not just living in limbo.
Know what to do when there are no feelings left
If there are no feelings left, you need to decide whether it’s worth staying together. If you do decide to stay together, it may just be out of comfort and security, which may not be healthy for you. Besides they may still have strong feelings for you that you are unable to reciprocate. Breaking up could be hard – but it could be what is needed to help you chase your own goals.