Celibacy: Why I Chose It…..

by Dee Walker

“You’re going to get pregnant by the first drop of sperm that touches you”. These are the words that came out of my friend Erica’s mouth as we laughed on the phone talking about my sexual relationship status of being…CELIBATE. Erica and I have these conversations all the time about a very conscious decision I decided to make over two years ago. Yes a single, 27 year old women DOES NOT have sex and no desire for it(right now). In fact, I’ve had quite a few encounters with people my age (men and women) who have made the same choice I made to be celibate. As Erica and I laughed about it, I really sat and re-evaluated why I made the decision to become celibate.

I’ve never really been a sexually active person to begin with. However, I became sexually active at a young age, not truly understanding what a toll sex takes on you when you are not mentally prepared for it and the emotional stress it entails. I’ve had six month to a year “droughts”, but this has by far been my longest period of time abstaining from sex. In the spring of 200, I was involved with someone I thought was truly “different & “special”. Anthony, (not his real name) put a smile on my face every day. I wasn’t in love with him…but I was definitely smitten. He was very intelligent, charismatic (I thought), had a sense of humor and provided me with intriguing conversations. I saw potential in him and possibly a serious relationship with him. He knew I wasn’t sexually active and wasn’t pressuring me initially, but in the end things changed. I usually wait a long (like six months) time to engage with someone physically, but I truly felt “Antony” was different and gave in after a couple of weeks (as I bow my head in shame, lol). Needless to say things changed between us and we ended things in a not so great way, although eventually we developed an ok relationship. I honestly feel like part of the reason things didn’t work out was because of how quickly we had sex. Around this time I was also trying to rededicate myself to church and living right. I’m not the most religious person in the world but being a Christian and living right I know sex is wrong before marriage. Sex was intended for marriage, and the more I thought about it, whenever I had sex, and felt emotionally connected with someone that I really didn’t even care about…that always came to mind!

With that all being said in May of 2009 I decided celibacy was the key for me. Not only do I have to worry about my emotional feelings of sex, I don’t have to worry about std’s and an unwanted pregnancy (because I DO NOT want kids anytime soon!lol). With my faith growing and learning more everyday I plan to wait until I am married before I have sex again. I want something to enjoy and experience with my future husband. I know Erica’s words will have even more meaning to them once I’m married!!

Do YOU Think It’s Hard To Be Celibate or Abstinent In Life After 25?

What Are Some Of The Biggest Obstacles?

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