In an ideal world, the past is something we either enjoy remembering and get comfort from, or it’s something from which we have learned lessons to make our future more productive and successful. Unfortunately, although this is the ideal, it’s not always the case. For some people, previous missteps, or even the fact that they have such great memories that they wish they could go back in time, indicate that they are being held back in life. They are not succeeding as well as they might all because of how they feel about their past. Here are some signs that your past is holding you back; if you know what they are and can recognize them, you will be able to move ahead more easily.
You Are Constantly Reminiscing About The Past
Talking about the past isn’t necessarily a bad thing; it can be enjoyable to reminisce, particularly when you’re with others who recall the same people and events you do. The issues with all this remembering start when it’s all you do, or you do it so much that it interferes with your current life. Perhaps you even wish you could go back in time to that happier moment.
Unfortunately, this is not possible. And the more you spend all your time in the past, the less you notice the present and the fewer plans you make for the future. This means you’re not taking advantage of any opportunities in life or benefiting from the various things you could be doing to make the present a fond memory in the future.
If at all possible, try to concentrate on the future. It will be difficult at first, but once you start making genuine plans and realize that the future can be just as wonderful as the past, if you work hard and plan ahead, things will seem a lot better.
You Don’t Want To Make Another Mistake
Mistakes happen; it’s inevitable. Everyone has made errors throughout their life, some little, some major. These errors are how we grow to be better in the future; the adage ‘learning from your mistake’ is really accurate, and if no mistakes were ever made, we would be poorer individuals because of it, as bizarre as that may seem.
However, it’s possible that you’re terrified of making another mistake, particularly if the one you worry about from before was one that was really severe and caused you or someone else grief or damage, such as divorce or separation. Even with help such as a qualified divorce concierge to mitigate the issue, you may well still be fearful of making any moves in any direction that could lead you back to making that mistake again.
If this is how you feel, the first step is to accept your previous errors and figure out how you got there. What took you to the point where the mistake was able to happen? Once you realize this, you can put actions in place to avoid it from occurring again and finally go on with your life.
You’re Scared Of Change
Change can be exhilarating and totally necessary, especially if you want to craft a bright future, but it can also be terrifying. So terrifying, in fact, that even if the result is certain to be positive, taking the required risks is just not something that some people are capable of doing; they are simply too terrified to change at all.
When your history is holding you back, this fear of change is referred to as a ‘learned fear,’ which means that you have been content with the way things are and, even though you know that change may – or even will – improve things, you are unwilling to venture outside your comfort zone. If you do this, you will lose control, which is tremendously important for someone who is stuck in the past.
The trick here is to recognize that this dread can’t be genuine; it’s a fear of something that has yet to occur and may never occur, so how can you be afraid of that thing? Once you understand this, you will be able to more readily assess the pros and cons and make the best decision possible.
Inflexibility is sometimes the result of thinking this is how I’ve always done things. The evidence for showing that you’re right not to make those changes is that, in the past, adhering to your plan or doing things your way yielded results. So you keep going in that way, and even when the results are no longer what you want, because you’re inflexible and – as mentioned above – scared of making important changes, even if they are necessary for the betterment of your future.
Experiment with becoming more adaptable. Although this sounds easier than it is, there is one method that people have used that seems to work, even if it sounds like a strange thing to do. Take a walk in nature and be inspired by the fact that trees are sturdy and stand up straight, yet they are also flexible and bend with the winds of change. This simple insight is a highly effective tool for cultivating flexibility while also liberating yourself from the past.
You Are Insecure
Your history might cause uneasiness and cause you to perceive yourself as less than you really are. When particular errors or bad judgments you made in the past make you feel apprehensive about the future, it’s a big indicator that you’re stuck in the past and need to find a better path ahead.
Start by considering what your strengths are, and don’t focus on your weaknesses. Make a list of those strengths and determine just what you can use them for in the future. You might be able to carve out a new niche for yourself that will mean you can learn from the past and enjoy your future, ensuring a good balance between the two. This balance is crucial if you are going to succeed in life.