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What to Do When You and Your Partner Have Varying Sex Drives
Physical intimacy is an important component of any romantic relationship. However, there are cases in which one member of the party could have higher or lower libido than the other. This difference may cause some friction between the couple. There are ways to cope with this issue to keep everything stable, and there are things people can try to equalize the drive levels between them. Here are a few suggestions for you and your partner to consider.
Broaden Your Range
Psychologically, many people tend to think of the act of intimacy as a straightforward, one-note type of thing. However, if a person is in a relationship with a partner who exhibits a significantly different drive from them, expanding the range of what is considered sexual can help the relationship. Couples should have frank discussions with each other about the range of activities they consider with one another. Although some negative feelings may come up, it is important not to dismiss them outright.
Consider Medical Issues
Your drive for physical intimacy has strong roots in complex human biology. There are many factors that can make it feel abnormally high or low to you or your partner. Testosterone levels can have a big impact on one’s “number” and how often they feel the drive to initiate intimate contact. A course of low testosterone medication treatment may help some people bring levels into a more normal range for their needs.
Divert Your Energies
In some cases, channeling a high drive for intimate contact into other activities can be helpful. If you are with a partner who experiences low libido, you might try transferring at least some of your sexual energy into other activities. Any hobby can do the trick, but it needs to be one that can produce tangible, positive outcomes for the person involved in it. With actual results, mental energy is not wasted, and your frustration levels should drop.
Manage Your Expectations
This is a tip that can help both parties in a relationship. Different libido levels can come with different sets of expectations for each person. It can be difficult to understand either the increased or decreased expectations of a partner when they differ from your own. However, clear and honest communication is one of the keys to success here. It is best to discuss your expectations with one another early in the relationship, but it is a step couples can take at any point when frustration rears its head.
It’s important to remember that no one is alone when navigating these waters. Many relationships include couples that experience varying drives or physical intimacy needs. Keeping an open mind and remembering that a lack of contact doesn’t always equate to a lack of love are crucial factors here.
